a work in progress

Lipat bahay?

2006-10-26T02:10:00.000+08:00

Nitong mga nakaraang araw, hindi ko maintindihan kung anong nangyayari dito sa blog ko. Ako lang ba o pansin nyo din? Biglang naging bold letters kasi itong mga post ko. Madalas, ang hirap mag upload ng posts. Ah basta, ang gulo ng blogger. Siguro kasi may beta version na sila?

Hmm... mukhang mapipilitan akong maglipat ng bahay talaga. Hindi ko alam kung pansamantala lang ito o lilipat na talaga ako. Sana madalaw nyo ako dito.

Hanggang sa muli!

Let the first prize roll!

2006-10-24T01:09:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I think I was a Chinese princess in my previous life. I find that I easily adapt to anything Chinese (from their food to their tons of traditions). Graduating from a school at the University Belt where lots of Tsinoys (colloquial term for members of the Filipino Chinese community) study, I was exposed to how the Tsinoys live. Having been trained at a Chinese hospital, I was exposed not only to their traditions but also to their language. Di ba Ahia Kenji? It is not surprising therefore that I celebrate two New Years and the Mooncake Festival.

The Chinese celebrate the Mooncake festival on the 15th day of the 8th lunar month marking the end of the harvest season when the moon is at its brightest and fullest. The origin of this festival have several versions. Here in the Philippines, the Tsinoys celebrate it as a thanksgiving for the family's abundant "harvest". Families get together and burn incense sticks at the Buddhist temples then have a feast thereafter. The mooncake of course is a must in the celebration. These mooncakes are also given to relatives and friends for abundance and to foster better ties. Tsinoys also play a game of 6 dices - the dices are thrown in a bowl and the more fours you get, the higher the prize. Some lucky combinations also get prizes. Traditionally, the prizes they give away are mooncakes but to make things more exciting, families give money or gifts.

This year, the Mooncake Festival fell on October 6. Although I got several mooncakes from friends, we have yet to celebrate it this coming Wednesday at the hospital. I am looking forward to playing the dice game (and the eating part syempre) but I am so not looking forward to the prizes I will be taking home with me after the celebration. I have never been very good at "taking chances" and I do not think I will ever be good at it so I won't delude myself into believing that I will be taking home the biggest prize. I will be going there prepared of course - with a plastic bag. Who knows, maybe I can collect a dozen of Coke in cans. Ugghhh!

Lika, spell tayo!

2006-10-13T14:40:00.000+08:00

Are you a good speller? Find out here ...

Be careful in answering, if you think you're a spelling bee champion, this game just might prove you wrong.

Keeps me going...

2006-10-06T13:19:00.000+08:00

Milenyo - THE Storm of the Year

2006-10-01T02:21:00.000+08:00

In my years of living in Metro Manila, Milenyo is the first storm ever to directly hit the City. I didn't even know there was a storm coming when I got home last Wednesday. I think I got used to having rains in the afternoons so it wasn't a big deal driving under pouring rain that day. The news that night said the storm was travelling fast and had winds of 130 kph and that it was expected to hit Metro Manila Thursday afternoon. Students were rejoicing because suspension of classes was announced early (I am glad people in the government was responsible and sensible enough to be semi-prepared this time).

I woke up at 6 am Thursday with the wind howling but with little rain pouring. By 6:30 am, the power went out. From inside our house, everything looked calm but by 12 noon, leaves and tree limbs were everywhere. By 1 pm, the wind was blowing so hard that a part of our house's gutter landed on the garage roof. By 2 pm, the wind stopped howling, there was only a drizzle but debris was everywhere. By 3 pm, everybody was hungry so my brother, his family and I went out to buy snacks and candles. We were shocked by what we saw - tree limbs were scattered everywhere, a mango tree uprooted, the McDonald's sign 20 feet above now lay in pieces on the ground, acacia trees falling over 2 cars and a Meralco post blocking the main street of our village. People took advantage of the situation by collecting money from motorists passing by while another cuts fallen trees.

The sun was shining brightly the next day belying the fact that only hours before, a storm directly hit Manila leaving the whole city in shambles and sans electricity. Like most people that day, we decided to go to the mall to cool off. We went as far as Market! Market! in Taguig only to find the mall in semi-darkness because they too do not have electricity. One side of the mall's facade was missing some cement, billboards were ripped, their carpark was flooded with water and the landscape of the whole area was destroyed. There was no traffic light and several billboards toppling over blocked some roads hence traffic was heavy despite it being a "holiday". Even EDSA was not spared of the destruction. On the homefront, we still had to go the long way if we wanted to leave our houses because the Meralco post that toppled was still lying there untouched. We went to bed last night with one hand fanning ourselves.

BUT the gods must've been listening to our laments so at about 2 am Friday, our power lines were restored. As of the moment, some areas are still powerless &/or phoneless and a lot of debris still has to be cleaned. The good news is things are slowly getting done and in a day or two, everything will be back to normal again.

*Above photo was taken along EDSA Guadalupe.

UPDATE:

Thanks to Sonnie and basang panaginip for the extensive search they must have done to compile blog posts on Milenyo.

For Angie

2006-09-27T16:38:00.000+08:00

Dear Angie,

I can't even begin to imagine the pain you have gone through and is still going through. I know the last few months have been like a roller coaster ride for you and your family. And although the journey has ended, the healing is yet to begin. Hang in there my friend! Always remember that there was never a cloud that the sun couldn't shine through.

If ever there are regrets for things you didn't say or do, the last year you spent with Ber is more than enough to make up for it. She knows you love her so much because you never gave up until the end. I am sure that if only she had a choice, she will never leave you. Take comfort in the knowledge that now she feels no pain and is happily resting where she is.

All of us your friends have been with you in your journey and rest assured that we won't leave you now, all you need to do is call. Smile my friend, baka makasalubong mo si W****. :-D

Love,
Nikki

Princess Tricia

2006-09-19T14:51:00.000+08:00

Proud to be Pinoy?

2006-09-10T12:00:00.000+08:00

I know it is a Sunday and I am supposed to be "resting" but I couldn't help but rant.

Having atttended mass in several countries already, I couldn't understand why in other countries, going to church can be a solemn exercise. In Korea, mass goers fall in line to get in and are seated as they are on line. Once the pews are full, the church doors are closed. The others in line would then have to wait for the next mass. Its inconvenient for some (especially those at the cut-off point) but its not entirely bad. People praying do not get disturbed by people coming in and out of the church. Here in the Philippines, people parade through the church aisle as if they are in Luneta. In Malaysia, people make it a point to come in early and practise the singing of the Responsorial psalm with the choir. Most of the families also carry with them a basket containing their mass booklets. These booklets contain all the songs and some of the prayers used within the mass. Hence, everyone participates in the singing and in praying. Even the children are very well behaved. Those who get restless and irritable are free to go out and play in the church yard. You do not hear adults talking or parents reprimanding their children. How can you listen to the Homily if the couple behind you are talking? I would guess that the difference is that early on, kids are taught that the church is a place of worship, a place where we can talk with God. Do you expect your child to be behaved inside the church if he sees his parents laughing while communion is going on? Another thing I noticed here is when people say "peace be with you" to one another - some people say the words but look at you haughtily. Is it because you are wearing designer clothes and I am not? How come people in Malaysia can say those words with a smile and a handshake and Filipinos can't? Going to communion is also an orderly affair - they do it by row kaya walang patintero sa harap ng altar.

If only we can start being disciplined in church then perhaps everything will follow.

Yes, I am proud to be a part of these resilient people called Filipinos but I am afraid that someday, even that will go away when we become a country where anything goes, where corruption and lack of discipline becomes a way of life for everyone.

Lurker ako

2006-09-01T13:21:00.000+08:00

Paulit-ulit na lang,
Nagsasawa na ako.
Ganito na lang ba palagi?

Hanggang kelan ako aasa?
mangangarap?
makikibalita?

Paulit-ulit na lang.
Napapagod na ako.
Ayoko nang mag-lurk sa Friendster mo!

Little girl na ang baby namin

2006-08-26T00:59:00.000+08:00

Dear Tricia,

Ang bilis talaga ng araw. Akalain mo, isang taon ka na? Parang kelan lang takot pa kami na buhatin ka kasi parang ang lambot-lambot mo, ngayon hinahatak mo na ang mga damit namin para alalayan kang maglakad. Hirap na din kami ngayon na kargahin ka kasi ang bigat mo na. Nakakalungkot lang minsan kasi baka paggising namin bukas, independent ka na at hindi mo na kami kailangan.

Ngayon pa lang, nakikitaan ka na namin ng pagiging smart. Ang galing mong manggaya ng mga nakikita mo. Walang nagturo sa'yo nung gesture na ginagawa ni Kris Aquino sa Deal or No deal pero ginulat mo kami isang araw, noong nagtatanong si Kris ng "Is it a deal? or no deal?", sumasagot ka ng "no deal" gesture. Ang bilis mong matuto! Natuto kang uminom sa straw na ikaw lang tapos ilang beses ka lang tinuruan nina Mommy at Daddy magmano saka mag-flying kiss, marunong ka na agad. Kanina lang, kwento ng Mommy mo, umiyak ka daw sa barberya noong nagpagupit ang Daddy mo tapos nakita mong pinapalo-palo ang likod at balikat niya. Akala mo siguro sinasaktan si Daddy ano? Minamasahe lang siya Tricia. Kaya sa susunod na sumama ka sa barberya at makita mo ulit yon, hindi ka na dapat umiyak ha.

Mukhang mauubusan din kami ng sagot kapag nag-umpisa ka nang magsalita kasi ngayon pa lang, ang daldal mo na. Napaka-curious mo din sa paligid mo. Kapag may nakita ka, gusto mong lapitan agad at imbestigahan. Hurricane Tricia din ang tawag ko sa'yo ngayon kasi talaga namang lahat ng madaanan at makita mo, kinakalikot mo at itinatapon. Pero nitong mga nakaraang araw, napapansin namin na yung mga kinakalikot mo, isinosoli mo din sa kung saan mo nakuha. Para talagang marunong ka nang mag-isip. Saka napakalikot at napakakulit mo na din! Masakit na ang buong katawan namin sa kakasunod sa iyo, ikaw parang hindi pa din nababawasan ang energy.

Hindi pa din nagbabago yung pagiging happy baby mo. Yun ang gustong-gusto namin sa iyo kahit noong baby ka pa lang. Hindi ka halos umiiyak, maliban na lang kung gutom o basa ka. Kaya lang madalas kong nakikita ngayon na kumukunot ang noo mo. Hmp! Mana ka talaga sa Daddy mo! Sana naman Tricia, hindi mo dalhin yan maski sa paglaki mo. Mas masaya kapag nakangiti ka lang palagi.

Sa mga nakikita namin sa'yo, mas lalo kaming na-eengganyong magtrabaho ng mabuti para mapalaki ka namin ng maayos at maibigay lahat ng mga pangangailangan mo. Sana lang, huwag kang lumaking spoiled brat. Bawal ang maging brat ha, ako ang unang magagalit sa iyo kapag naging brat ka. Huwag mo ding papansinin muna yung mga little boys na ngumingiti at humahawak sa iyo ha.

Maraming salamat sa pagbibigay kulay sa aming mundo. At kahit pa pagurin mo kami sa pag-aalaga sa'yo, magtitiyaga kami. Ipagdasal din natin palagi kay Lord na sana lagi kang healthy at happy. Magpakabait ka lagi ha at huwag matigas ang ulo. Saka pakiusap lang, huwag mo namang bilisan ang paglaki!

Mahal kita!

Love,
Mama

Books

2006-08-11T22:42:00.000+08:00

Let's have a break muna from my Malaysia experience. Here's a tag from Doc Emer

Books that changed your life?

I have to read that book yet but Tuesdays with Morrie and The Five Peolpe You Meet in Heaven both by Mitch Albom made an impact in my life.

Books you have read more than once?

The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks, The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan

Books you would want on a desert island?

All books by Nicholas Sparks

One book that made you laugh?

I can't remember any.

One book that made you cry?

I have read lots of books that made me cry but one book that really made a lasting impression is P.S. I Love You by Cecelia Ahern (so sweet!)

Trivia: Cecelia Ahern wrote her 1st novel, P.S. I Love You at the age of 21 and she is the daughter of Ireland's Taoiseach (Prime Minister) Bertie Ahern. Cecelia is also the sister-in-law of Nicky Byrne of Westlife.

One book you wish you had written?

Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone a.k.a. Book 1 of the Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling because I would be a millionaire by now had I written it. hahahaha!

One book you wish had never been written?

The Hundred Secret Senses by Amy Tan. Nalito ako kasi Olivia is telling a story at the moment then in the next paragraph, you're reading about a ghost na pala.

One book you are currently reading?

Pediatric Advanced Life Support from the American Heart Association

I HAVE to read this because I will be going on training 2 weeks from now and I NEED to pass (again) the exam.

One book you have been meaning to read?

Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Ayan, gusto ko na tuloy pumunta ng bookstore bukas na bukas din!

Miri, Malaysia Part 2

2006-08-10T01:46:00.000+08:00

I got well acquainted with the malls in Miri because malling became part of our everyday life while we were there. My aunt and cousin are both certified shopaholics! Contrary to what my father said, Miri boasts of four malls (although not as big as our malls here), 1 department store and plenty of small shops selling an assortment of goods. Clothes, shoes, bags and accesories are quite pricey in Malaysia. Much to my dismay, I found out too that prices in West Malaysia are several dollars more expensive than those in East Malaysia. The saleslady said that this is because they pay more taxes in the East. Unfair if you ask me. I guess if you are earning Malaysian Ringgit, the prices and the difference in the prices won't be much but for a tourist like me, one can't help but do the math before buying anything. On my 3rd day there, I changed the left button shortcut of my cellphone from contacts to calculator. We were lucky that there were lots of sales (they even had a midnight sale at one of the stores) the time we were there. I had such a great time going patiently through rack after rack and come up with great finds at only half the price. As proof, our suitcases were bulging to the seams. Lucky for us, we did not exceed our baggage limit; we hand carried some of our loot that's why. I was also on a mission while there - I have to find my most wanted book at the moment which I told you about in my previous post. Sadly, I only found two bookstores that carried English titles. If books here in the Philippines are out-dated, even more so in Miri. For example, they are only now putting on sale Harry Potter Book 6. I don't know if this is also the case in Kuala Lumpur though. Books are expensive there too, English novels are priced at RM35, roughly Php525. Nevertheless, I brought home 2 novels both bought on sale at half the price. Lacking at the malls are the specialty boutiques that can be found in our malls here. I only saw one Giordano shop (very small and shabby at that) at one of the malls. But this is compensated by the original Swiss watches and French/Italian leather bags. My aunt and I were practically drooling over an original Balenciaga bag at one of the stores, too expensive for us. I got introduced to a lot of local brands of shoes, bags, clothes, etc. and I must say, our local products are better in terms of quality and style. The stores also carried lots of cheap China/Taiwan and Korea products.

One routine I missed while in Miri is the weekly trip to the grocery store. Grocery shopping is a weekly family affair for us here in the Philippines but in Miri, we seldom cooked (except for breakfast and most of the time lunch) because we always ate in restaurants even for merienda. We only had to rush in and out of the grocery store if we needed eggs, laundry soap, butter, coffee or iced tea. Even through the rush, I still noticed some Filipino products there like Cloud 9 chocolates, Maggi noodles, Blue Skies and Eskinol. The first two products are being manufactured in Malaysia already. I was also able to go to their palengke. The two palengkes we went to are so clean and doesn't even look like a market place from afar. Both were open air, with stainless steel tables where the sellers can display their goods and with tile flooring. I also learned that not all stalls are open throughout the day so if are late going there, chances are, you will not be able to buy all the things in your list.

*** to be continued

Miri, Malaysia Part 1

2006-08-04T14:46:00.000+08:00

I am now winding down my visit here in East Malaysia and although I am literally counting the days till our flight back home, I will be sorry to leave. Coming here, I didn’t know what to expect. My father’s memories of this place back when he was still working here wasn’t very encouraging (or maybe he just didn’t want me to go because he knows he’s going to miss me). He said the place was primitive, primitive equating to no malls and bookstores. Looking down from the window seat of the plane as we were about to land, I was greeted by a myriad of lights. Right there and then, I knew I will have fun.

The Miri Airport is small but new, clean and not very busy. Only a handful of people was there waiting to meet relatives and friends not like at our airports in the Philippines. The weather too was nice. We went to eat at a place which locals call “the waterfront” because it is in front of a body of water. The food there is delicious and fresh. Malaysians especially the Malaysian Chinese are so fond of eating out so that everywhere you go, restaurants/eateries can be found dotting the roads some even setting out tables on the side of the road. No danger of getting hit by cars though because roads and sidewalks are wide. Traffic too is almost non-existent in Miri. Drivers are very disciplined (although I have seen a couple of young drivers who beat the red light and do unauthorized U turns). I have yet to hear a car horn blowing along the road. I had a chance to drive last week and it was a novelty for me to see drivers give way to others.

I am not an adventurous eater, I only eat what looks familiar to me and eat only when I am reassured that the food is not spicy. Malaysia is also home to lots of Indians so spice is part of their diet, hence it couldn’t be avoided that I eat some too. I am glad I did. Their mee (pancit) is soooo yummy even though spicy! Our favorite snack is called roti canai (looks like lumpia wrapper) dipped in curry. I drew the line on curry though so I ate roti telur (roti canai with egg); but only for a few times, roti canai even without curry is very tasteful. I got introduced to three drinks too – lian teh (it’s a local concoction of boiled leaves but tastes sweet), sincau (black gulaman for us but ours tastes sweeter) and barley (plain barley, not the “made into beer” barley). All three tastes good; even now, I am missing lian teh already. My all time favorite dish is panggang (grilled fish with alamang), too spicy for me but its worth all the spice. The only vegetable I ate is the sautéed baby kaylan (not too sure of the spelling). There is also one exotic (at least it is for me) food that I ate here – fern flower (don't know the local name, sorry). You know the fern used for bouquets and flower arrangements? It is grown in some parts of Miri and the flowers (yes, there is a flower) of the fern are sold for food. We ate the sautéed dish and it tastes like cauliflower. An interesting dessert I ate is called kojak which is a mix of fruits, vegetables and squid in a peanut based sauce. It looked yucky from a far but wait till you taste it, it’s the sauce that made the trick I think. I was also able to eat the famous satay and some of their local kakanins. I would never trade our bibingka though for any of their colorful kakanins.

***to be continued

This post was written last July 28,2006

Back from the land of black gold

2006-08-01T01:56:00.000+08:00

It's back to the real world for me. The flight back yesterday was so bumpy because of the weather and until now, I haven't recovered from it yet. We left Miri yesterday morning amidst dark clouds (a first since we arrived there), arrived in Kota Kinabalu in pouring rain and was welcomed home with a drizzle. I had fun in Miri. The place was a refreshing change from the pollution and traffic of Manila. If only I can stay longer.

The first thing I did after the kwentuhan with my family was go online. I missed the internet!!! I have 135 emails in my inbox. I just went through it quickly, read the most important ones but wasn't able to reply to any because by then my head was throbbing. But I promise to reply to everyone as soon as I can.

To everyone who wished me well... JO, ATE ANN, MAM KIWIPINAY, KNEEKO, KAREN (miss you!), KA URO and all those who left messages ... AHIA KENJI, ELLE and PATRICE (will email you later friend) thank you very much.

More kwentos later...

The best things in life are FREE!

2006-07-13T06:50:00.000+08:00

If you do not hear from me for 2 weeks, it means I didn't find any internet cafe nearby. I am leaving for Malaysia!

The invitation for this free holiday for me was given last May from my aunt (I wrote about her a couple of months ago) and uncle. This time last week, I am still not sure if this trip will push through or if I will be able to go with my aunt and cousin. Last Sunday, my uncle called up to say that his schedule is full at the moment so if we're going, we won't be able to go there until August 16. I was surprised to receive a call from my aunt the other day saying that we will be flying on Saturday. I have always believed that things go better if it is not planned, so, it will be Miri, Sarawak for me for the last 1/2 of July.

I will be missing my brother's birthday,Tricia's 11 month birthday and two other family gatherings while I am away but I am determined to have fun. Miri sounds interesting and it will be one great adventure for me.

I want

2006-07-02T22:34:00.000+08:00

I knew my favorite author has a new book coming out and I have been waiting for it to be available here in the Philippines. It has been 8 months now and I have yet to see a copy in my favorite neighborhood bookstore. I am even willing to go to Powerbooks Megamall if needed just to buy a copy but browsing through their website, no At First Sight available. Nicholas Sparks is again coming out with a new book (entitled Dear John) either in September or October, hindi ko pa nababasa yung At First Sight.

I want, I want, I want!!

The People's Champ does it again

2006-07-02T17:07:00.000+08:00

Despite doubts about his preparedness for this bout, Manny Pacquiao once again proved to us that he is indeed a CHAMPION!

Have a great week ahead everyone! I know I will. God bless!

** image courtesy of inq7.net

Senti Files #1

2006-06-27T00:09:00.000+08:00

You promised me tonight that you will never leave me,
You promised that you will always be by my side and
will never let me go.
But just like the others, I know you will leave me too,
Someday you will, no matter how hard I try to hold on.

A greater power will snatch you away from my arms,
I will not have any choice but to let go.
You are not mine to keep and will never be.

I do not know how life will be when that happens,
I have to prepare and be ready.
Just like the others, I know someday you will have to leave.
But unlike them, I know you will keep a promise -
you will always be watching over me.

Father's Day 2006

2006-06-19T02:40:00.000+08:00

I know late na, Monday na kasi dito sa Pilipinas pero gusto ko pa ding humabol. Alam ko ding malamang hindi ito mabasa ni Papa kasi hindi naman siya marunong mag internet pero kapag may pagkakataon, ipapabasa ko sa kanya ito.

Father's day... masuwerte ako at napakabait ng Papa ko, karapat-dapat talagang ipagdiwang ang Father's Day in his honor. Hindi ko alam kung paano ako mabubuhay ng wala siya. Kasi naman, bata pa talaga ako, kami na ni Papa ang magkabuntot. Sa katunayan, nagkasugat pa nga ako sa talukap ng kaliwang mata ko sa kasusunod sa kanya. O sige na nga, oo na, Papa's girl na ako. Ang dami na din naming napagdaanan bilang isang pamilya, kung iba siguro ang naging tatay ko, baka sumuko na siya.

Kung meron akong nalaman sa pag-uwi namin noong May sa bayan ni Papa, iyon ay kung gaano kahirap ang naging buhay niya bago niya narating kung ano siya ngayon. Isa siyang mabuting anak at kapatid. Bata pa siya, marunong na siyang magtipid at magsikap para may ipambaon sa eskwelahan. Noong nagtapos siya sa kolehiyo at nagkatrabaho, inako na niya lahat halos ang pagpapa-aral dun sa dalawang nakababata niyang kapatid. Siya din ang sagot sa bahay, tubig, kuryente at pagkain. Sabi ng mga tita ko, kahit na hirap sila noon, isa iyon sa mga pinaka-masasayang taon nila. Sabi din nila, mabait ngunit istrikto daw si Papa, mahilig manlibre ng sine at maloko. Naintindihan ko na kung bakit nagsakripisyo siya ng husto para sa amin - ayaw niya kasi na maranasan namin yung naranasan niya noong bata pa siya. Hindi ko din nakita sa kanya yung pagka-istrikto niya. Siguro dahil sa madalas hindi namin siya kasama noon, kapag umuuwi siya dito sa Pilipinas, bumabawi siya. Maloko si Papa kahit hanggang ngayon. Maski si Tricia minsan naiinis, mahilig kasi mangulit si Papa.

Sa kwento ng mga tita ko, mas lalo kong nakilala si Papa. Bagama't may mga kamalian din siya, bale wala iyong mga iyon kung iisipin ko yung mga ginagawa niya para sa amin. Napakaswerte ko pala talaga!

Thank you

for being the beam that lifts our family tall,
for being the wall that holds us together,
for being the roof that shelters us from the rain.

for being our eyes, which makes us see what is out there
for being our wings, which makes us fly high,
for being our heart, which taught us what love really is all about.

Thank you for being who you are!

Gamehouse Addict

2006-06-13T23:20:00.000+08:00

Would you believe that I slept at 6 am this morning? Since we're having problems with our internet connections, my online life for the past week has been very erratic. So, may I laro ako ng game (holiday po kasi dito kahapon), nasobrahan naman yata.

My good friend M gave me these 2 games kasi, hindi ko alam kung saan nya iyon nakuha or kung pano pero I got it thru email. Sobrang nakakatuwa! I saw it sa Yahoo Games and its from Gamehouse, it's called...

Try nyo, it's fun. But don't blame me if you get addicted too!

Mood: pensive

2006-06-06T17:50:00.000+08:00

Ayan, Ka Uro nandito na ulit ako. Hehe!

I am happy that everything generally went well with our hospital activity except for some minor glitches. But yes, the last statement was written with some angst.

It is a given that we cannot please everybody and that we shouldn't even try. It's just that I'd like my life to be as peaceful and as stressless as possible. I don't want to have any room of hatred in my life. Gusto ko laging masaya ang paligid ko. I hate confrontations so I try to solve problems as diplomatically as possible. BUT no matter how hard I try, there are just things beyond my control.

For instance, I cannot help it if I click with this certain person that my other friend hates. Its not even my battle and I am not going to involve myself in it. I am not going to take sides because they are both my colleagues although I admit that it is immaturity (i.e. hospital politics) on my friend's part that caused all this. Pero hindi naman yata tama na simangutan niya ako at isnabin just because I am friends with the other person. Its just so sad that we are supposedly mature doctors who should at least try to be civil with one another even if in truth, you want to stab your colleague with a scalpel.

However, I am not going to deprive myself of a good friendship with a very misunderstood person just because of petty hospital politics. If this is how my friend treats all her friends who goes against her wishes, then maybe she doesn't deserve my friendship. If she cannot act maturely, then that's too bad. Hindi naman ako mawawalan kung hindi niya ako papansinin!

Time out po ulit

2006-05-31T11:47:00.000+08:00

Mga friends, sorry po at kelangan ko na naman magpaalam sa inyo. Mawawala po ulit ako for the rest of the week. I need to attend to some hospital responsibilities kaya I will be "internetless" for the next few days. Mahirap na, baka mapagalitan ng mga bosses ko.

Meanwhile, I will leave you with these very inspiring words...

"Never regret the choices you make, just believe in yourself and have faith. Life isn't perfect, its a blend of joy and sorrow, but whatever life leads you to, its because of a purpose."

God bless and see you next week!

Life is a matter of moments of time

2006-05-27T23:06:00.000+08:00

To those of you who are curious as to my whereabouts for the past weeks - my whole family went on a grand vacation! Yipee! This is a first for us after more than 20 years. Between school, duties and our business, this is the first time in years that we were able to pack our bags and go. We wanted to go visit Hongkong Disneyland with some relatives but because of our tight schedules, we didn't push thru with the trip. Then my Papa suddenly said, "Let's go to Agusan!". I didn't know if he was serious then but fast forward 3 months before our May holiday, I found myself looking at hotels and checking airline/boat schdules online, Papa was indeed serious!

Agusan del Norte is my father's hometown and my brother and I haven't had a single vacation there in 21 years, not even to attend both my grandparents' funeral several years ago. I know it was remiss of us but we didn't have any money then so we didn't have any choice. So imagine our excitement at the prospect of visiting the place.

My memories of our last trip to Agusan were vague. All I remember was my 80 year old grandfather groping with thread and needle (because he was half-blind already) to make a pouch for his money while asking me in English how I am. During World War II, my grandfather was educated by several Americans and proceeded to graduate in highschool then on to a Certificate in Teaching. He didn't know how to speak Tagalog, I didn't know how to speak Bisaya so we were left with English. It wasn't really difficult for me because Lolo mostly kept to himself. He was happiest tending to his plants. My grandmother was also a teacher but knew how to speak Tagalog so communicating with her wasn't a problem. Another memory was us eating buko fresh from the coconut tree with spoons fashioned from coconut husk. Yummy!

buko trees at the family farm

Papa was determined to make us experience it all. He wanted to show us a glimpse of his childhood and college days in Cebu now that my brother and I are both adults. He also wanted to re-introduce us to his relatives, at the same time introduce my sister-in-law and show off our Tricia.

We had so much fun! It was nice to see my Papa's sisters and a myriad relatives after so many years. I felt very welcome, it was like coming home. Everyone was so accomodating and helpful. I was once again reminded of how simple life is in the province. After the hustle and bustle of Manila, laid back Agusan was a welcome change for all of us.

children and teenagers diving from a hanging bridge

We only stayed in Agusan for 5 days and everyone was reluctant to come back to Manila. While on our way to the airport and again while waiting for our flight, we made a promise not to be strangers again to this place which gave us 5 days of bliss.

And so I say... Agusan, see you in 2008!

Tag from Duke

2006-05-25T01:30:00.000+08:00

Sorry po at nawala na naman ako. Pero huwag kayong mag-alala, ikukwento ko naman sa inyo soon kung saan ako nagpunta.

Anyway, I got tagged by DUKE in her latest post...

Instructions: Name ten (10) of life's simple pleasures that you like the most, the pick ten (10) people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not to use things that someone else has already used.

Here are 10 of my life's simple pleasures

1. lounging in bed with a good book
2. spending time with my family
3. realizing that God has been giving me so many blessings
4. listening to MYMP
5. reminiscing with my father about his childhood
6. a ride at the back of a motorcycle
7. marathon kwentuhan with my friends (blogger friends included)
8. Tricia reaching out for me saying "mama"
9. eating fishball
10. getting a smile from a complete stranger

My friends, I want to know what makes YOU happy. You are all invited to post your answers either as a comment to this post or as a post in your own blogs.

Thanks!

'Nay you're the best!

2006-05-13T01:24:00.000+08:00

Babysitting Tricia a couple of months ago, I realized how hard it is to be a mother. If you really do not love this little person, I am sure you will not take care of her every need. This little person is depending on you to feed her, bathe her, change her diaper, play with her and rock her to sleep, not taking your eyes off her even for just a second because she keeps standing up in her high chair. Day in and day out until she gets old enough to do things on her own, you should be there. I do not blame moms if they get pissed off at times. Taking care of a child is one huge responsibility, it is a very tiring 24/7 job. Can you imagine how it is for working moms?

My own mother was herself a working mom, until I was 11 years old. She had a lot of help because I had a yaya and loads of excited relatives (I was the first apo/pamangkin) who took turns playing yaya for the day. Weekends was however strictly mama time. She was practically a single parent too that time because my father was an OFW. When my brother and I started going to school, she let go of the yaya and made us stay in school (my Mama taught highschool English and Home Economics) with her. Everyday, my brother and I would go to school with her lugging our school bags and Mama lugging our "diaper bag" full of toys, food and a change of clothes. She gave up her career when we transferred to Manila, opting to take care of us herself. Until now, me already a pediatrician and my brother with his own family already, Mama still takes care of us. I am not ashamed to say that because she is happiest that way, it is what she does best.

Although my mother and I do not sometimes see eye to eye, I couldn't imagine life without her. I know she won't be with me forever. No matter how hard I hold on, one day, I won't have any choice but for now, I will hold on tight.

Let us all hug and kiss our moms this Mother's Day. Let her know how much you love her, write her a letter or give her a card. Make her proud. Pray for her and thank God everyday for giving you to her.

To all mothers:

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

"It is our choice that shows what we truly are, far more than our abilities"

2006-05-04T23:18:00.000+08:00

I again covered for my mentor because of an out of town convention she had to attend. I should be happy because it is an opportunity for me to learn. You see, she gets to see an average of more than 50 patients per clinic day and that is excluding her admitted patients. Not everyone is willing to see a substitute so I don't mind if relatives back out when they see that I am the one looking at patients. Yes, I do get to see lots of different illnesses in her clinic, I really appreciate that what I am dreading though is the part where you meet different types of people who can really test your patience.

The other day, this young couple came to the clinic sans her children (she has 2 and I have seen her kids before at the clinic). The woman was due for her second dose of Hepatitis B vaccine. Since it was only for a vaccine, I didn't mind attending to her. Sitting down opposite me, her husband sitting at the other chair near the door reading a book, she asked me if she could ask me something concerning her housemaid. Apparently, the 30+ year old housemaid was diagnosed with hyperthroidism several months ago, was prescribed medications but was not compliant because the medicine was expensive. Could I prescribe a cheaper medicine for her? She asked me lots of questions that I answered as best as I could. I was uncomfortable answering the mom's question because (1) the patient was not with her, (2) the patient was an adult and (3) hyperthyroidism is not a simple illness and I am not in the best position to treat her. I told the mom that it would be best if the housemaid see an endocrinologist to treat her. The husband suddenly butted in, looked at me and spoke to his wife in another language which I obviously didn't understand then went back to reading his book. I really was offended by the husband's attitude. If he wanted to read his book, he should've just stayed outside in the waiting room, if he wanted to hear what her wife and I was talking about, he should've had the courtesy to set his book aside and listened to us. I knew he was listening to us because he looked up several times from his book to look at me and his wife. Its okay to butt in the conversation but he should've done so in a language that I can at least understand unless of course he wanted to say something that he didn't want me to hear. Ang bastos di ba? I finished the consultation quickly with my temper on tight rein.

I really cannot understand why some people feel so superior or why some people do not even have an ounce of courteousness in them. I also cannot understand why some rich people think that just because they are rich, they can get away with an "I own the world so you should worship me" attitude. Mahirap bang gumalang sa kapwa? If only we learn how to respect ALL the people we meet everyday, the world would be a better place to live in.

Tag ni Ella Rose

2006-05-01T22:54:00.000+08:00

Matagal-tagal na din itong assignment na ito ni Ella pero ngayon ko lang nasagot. Pasensya na my friend!

Rules: List of seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre. Whether or not they have words or even if they're any good, they must be the songs you enjoy right now. Post this instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs then tag 7 people and see what they are listening to.

1. Miss You by MYMP

Just by the title alone, you'll know what the song is all about na. Sometimes, there are just things/persons that you wish you can have back but you know you can't.

2. Someone To Watch Over Me by Joni James

I "noticed" this song after watching the Aga Muhlach-Regine Velasquez movie, I just forgot the title. This is Regine's and her dad's favorite song in the movie.

3. Panunumpa by Carol Banawa

This is actually a praise song that is popularly becoming a wedding song. I don't know if you guys have heard it already but it's really a very beautiful song. My favorite line goes...

... yakapin mong bawat sandali
at mapapawi ang takot sa 'kin, pangakong walang hanggan
at mapapawi ang takot sa 'kin pagkat taglay lakas mong angkin

4. Barney Song

It's Tricia's song for the week. :-D

5. Leader of the Band by Dan Fogelberg

... the leader of the band is tired and his eyes are growing old
but his blood runs through my instrument and his song is in my soul

6. Paalam Na by MYMP

... Paalam na
Nasaan man ngayon
May iba mang mahal
Pangako'y di nagtagal

7. Average Joe by Y-Not (not sure about the artist)

I like the beat of this song but not the lyrics.

Post-Holy Week Kwento

2006-04-25T21:09:00.000+08:00

My family and I trekked to the province in two cars last Holy Wednesday. We were supposed to leave in just one car but Tricia had so much luggage that my father decided at the last minute to use two cars instead. Contrary to what we were expecting, the NLEX was not busy that day, probably because a lot of people started going out of town as early as Monday. Tricia made the 6 hour trip pass by quickly by doing her antics. Kakatuwa talaga yung batang iyon! She was babbling left and right, barely slept during the whole trip and so likot.

It was nice to see my aunts, uncles, cousins and lola once again. That night, we went to the next town to eat a sumptuous seafood meal courtesy of my tita. The sisig at the restaurant where we went to was soooo yummy that we ordered another serving. It was so hot in La Union that week, we had to sneak out and cool off at the mall and eat halo-halo. Halo-halo Iloko was worth the price! We also joined the traditional Holy Friday procession that went through the whole town proper. I ended up going to bed early that night with a severe pain on my lower back after 2 hours of walking and another 2 hours of standing to wait our turn at the image of the dead Jesus inside a glass coffin.

As early as 8 am that Saturday, we were already at the beach because my brother wanted to let Tricia swim without worrying about sunburns later on. It was still high tide when we arrived at our rented cottage, the waves were a little high (just right for surfing) and the wind blowing on our faces was a welcome respite from the heat. Tricia was a big hit that day. She was so cute in her 2 piece bathing suit, sunglasses and bathrobe. She also loved the water so much that it tore our hearts to get her out of the water when it was time to go home.

Tricia after her morning swim

before her afternoon swim (naka-pose pa!)

With heavy hearts, we left for Manila after lunch Easter Sunday. The traffic was bad in some towns and even Tricia came back to Manila with a tan but it was all worth the trip!

We don't remember days, we remember moments!

2006-04-11T13:45:00.000+08:00

This is the first time in 2 weeks that I am having a day all to myself. I don't even remember what I did the last week of March. I did see two of my best girl friends during my clerkship days in med school last March 30. Z and S both live North of Manila now so for us (all practicing doctors) to get together would mean a lot of text messaging and juggling of schedules. Nevertheless, we made it to Greenhills without any hitches and went around till I was ready to drop. We must've went around the stalls 3 times that day! I don't frequent Greenhills that much because its a little far from my house and I always had a hard time looking for a parking space but it is worth the trip. The items at the tiangges are really very affordable and if you are a good haggler, you will surely go home happy with your shopping bags. I drove home with 2 new blouses, 2 bags and a pair of mules which cost me 50% less than what it would've cost me if I bought at the mall.

April 2-5 was the annual convention of the Philippine Pediatric Society at the PICC. If you want to update yourself about old friends who are now pediatricians then this convention is a must. Pediatricians from all over the country take time out to attend this yearly convention. This is also the time to see your pediatricians outwitting each other just for a bag being given free by drug companies. People sometimes even look through another person's bags just to compare what he has in his bag. I really find this very funny because the things that you lined up for almost always end up as kalat inside the house later on although some freebies like baby wipes are very useful. This year, I didn't have the patience to join the long cues except for a bag I really, really liked and a plastic organizer/picinic basket. I also had my fill of a lot of seafoods last week courtesy of some reps. Marina and the seafood market both in Macapagal Avenue are great places to go if you have a craving for baked tahong and crabs.

I also had a very important mission last week - counsel a very good friend against going back to her two-timing boyfriend. I don't even want to think about what that jerk did because it really makes me fuming mad. I know love sometimes puts colored glasses on people but I hope I was able to get through my friend.

I am pretty excited because the whole family will be going out of town tomorrow morning. Summer is really here and the heat can be stiffling, I can't wait to take a dip in the beaches of La Union with my cousins. It is at times like this that I wish I can muster the courage to learn how to swim. This will be the first time too that we will be bringing Tricia to the beach. She loves her baths and really enjoys her plastic pool but the beach is different. The ever kikay Tricia 's swimming gear is even complete from head to toe! Hindi naman kami excited dalhin siya sa beach ano? Hahaha!

Being loved and giving back

2006-03-28T17:27:00.000+08:00

I am extremely lucky that I have so many nice and thoughtful friends! Sometimes I feel that I don't even deserve some of them. To all my friends who will be reading this, thank you so much. I truly feel loved.

It really is a nice feeling - being loved. Sometimes when we go through tough times, we feel like everyone and everything around us are against us and that nobody loves us but we only have to look around. See the roof over your head? That is because your dad loves you so much, he worked hard and is still working hard for you. The slightly burned tilapia you had for dinner last night? That is because your mom was busy making your favorite buko pandan salad while cooking dinner. The lovely sunset? That is because God loves us so much, He wants the day to give way to night so that we can rest. Now do you see how loved we are? Giving back that love is the hard part. Sometimes we become spoiled by all the love that we're getting that we forget to give that love back. But I learned that a simple "thank you" and those little unnoticed deeds would do...

Growing up, I more or less knew that someday I would become a doctor, a kids' doctor. During my internship days however, I was exposed to the different faces of hospital life and I thought of becoming an OB-Gyne instead but I couldn't resist those little babies. I love playing and talking to them. I hate seeing them lying sick in a hospital bed. Those little kids are meant to play, go to school and grow up to be good doctors or lawyers or whatever they want to be. They do not have any business in the hospital. It breaks my heart to see kids with terminal illnesses that is why when a very good friend from med school texted me yesterday that her 2 year old nephew, Gelo had biliary atresia and would be needing a liver transplant soon, I had no qualms about asking YOU for help. A liver transplant would cost about Php 5-6M and since it is not yet done here in the Philippines, they will have to go abroad (Singapore have the facilities to perform liver transplants). I learned that a Singaporean organization promised them that they will help shoulder the expenses but when they heard that Gelo had 2 relatives who are both resident doctors, they retracted their promise. My friend may be a doctor but she is just a resident and therefore cannot afford the Php 6M. Gelo has been sick since he was 2 1/2 months old and his family can no longer afford his medical expenses and the much needed liver transplant.

If you have a few pesos or dollars to spare, please help Gelo have his liver transplant before time runs out for him. His family will appreciate all the help you can give them. If you want to know more about Gelo, you can visit his website here. If you want a copy of his medical history or if you have any questions, please feel free to email me. Thank you very much and God bless you all!

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable"

2006-03-26T23:58:00.000+08:00

I just came home from 2 cousins' graduation blow-out party. They both graduated from the same high school yesterday. I learned today that they will be going to the same school again for college.

J, a typically tall, good-looking teenager wants to be a pilot but his relatives in the States said an emphatic NO to this. He was told to forget about being a pilot and study to become a nurse instead so that he can easily go to the States. My other cousin, T is a very beautiful girl, her mom says she doesn't know what she wants but will be enrolling this June at the same nursing school as J. I couldn't help but compare myself to both of them when I was a fresh high school graduate several years ago. Yes, I was practically groomed to become a doctor by my parents but they still gave me a choice. I chose to take up Medical Technology as my pre-med course so that I can still have a good paying hospital job if I choose not to go into medical school. I believed then and I still believe it now that choosing the course you want to take up in college should depend on where your interests lie except for situations beyond your control (like lack of sufficient funds for your desired course). Why do I say this? Because if your course was really your choice, no hardship can ever stop you from getting that much coveted college diploma. If I really didn't like medical school, would I survive the grueling schedule of a medical student? I don't think so. Maybe this is why there are lots of grouchy people around - because they are not happy and content with what they're doing.

I don't blame my aunts though for wanting their children to become nurses. At present, it is the easiest way to have a better life abroad. But are we perhaps short-changing them by choosing for them what they should become?

Eleven Minutes

2006-03-22T01:08:00.000+08:00

I just finished reading the novel by Paulo Coelho. He has written several books including the bestseller The Alchemist but I still have to read it. You can visit his website here.

The book tells the story of how a young Brazilian girl learned about love and sex. At a very young age, she convinced herself that "love is a terrible thing that will make you suffer". Like all young girls, she also dreams of fame and fortune but as fate had it, she ended up being a prostitute in Geneva. She was very good at her trade never once falling in love with any of her clients until she met a young painter who brought her faith back in love.

I don't know how many times I cried reading the book. I just felt so sad for the girl who got her heart broken at a very young age. Her dreams weren't unreachable, she only wanted to give her family a better life and although she went through the wrong path, it was just a choice she was forced to make. It was also interesting how she tried to help her clients. She said that men who came to her were vulnerable and lonely because they have no one to talk to, not even their wives hence she read books and newspapers so that she can talk to them and give them advise about life and business. The novel is daring since it tackled sexuality freely. There is a part there where Maria (the main character) and a friend talks about pleasure. It also touched masochism briefly. Another interesting point is how the book got its title but I won't be giving it away - read it!

Perhaps it is the romantic in me but what stuck to mind most is that life may give us several painful blows but there will always be a rainbow in the end. Maybe...

On another note:

I hope you guys like the new look of my blog. :-D Yes Ann, this is what kept me busy this past week. I have been working on it for several months now but I inadvertently deleted my previous effort. Galing ko noh? I also wanted to make my blog look cleaner and more personal.

Special thanks to my friend who helped me with the nice pictures above. Love you Mi! :-)

Eyes still open at 2 am

2006-03-11T02:23:00.000+08:00

This is one of the times when I question myself whether I made the right choice in becoming a doctor. It is already 2 am and although I am tired and sleepy, I can't bring myself to sleep. I do sleep at 6 am sometimes but only when I am feeding my addiction (read as blogging) not when I am kept awake worrying about a patient.

The bosses attended an out of town conference for 4 days so I was left in charge of one of the clinics. I couldn't wait to go home early this afternoon (ay, yesterday afternoon na pala) because it was supposed to be my last day at the boss' clinic, but I again gave my friend, M a reason to gloat - I admitted 3 patients for my boss! After doing my rounds, I left the hospital contented that those 3 kids are stable, no worries. Just as I was about to sleep, I received a text message, my tonsilitis patient is bleeding from the mouth.

The resident says they do not have any ENT doctor who can come in at this time to look at the patient. I almost panicked! Yes, I know theirs is just a small hospital but who do they call for emergencies? Although I didn't see the patient, my guess is that the bleeding is from her almost kissing tonsils with very prominent blood vessels so it means that we have to stop the bleeding ASAP because any blood or blood clots in that area can interfere with the little girl's breathing. I already asked them to give something to stop the bleeding but I still insisted that they contact an ENT.

So here I am fully awake praying that the medication I gave will stop my little patient's bleeding. I am also waiting for the resident to call back and tell me about the ENT referral. In the meantime, I will blog...

UPDATE: The resident just called, she was able to contact an ENT doctor who already gave her orders and promised to see the patient first thing tomorrow morning IF the bleeding stops. I think this is going to be a veerry early morning for both of us!

I must really be getting old

2006-03-06T15:31:00.000+08:00

"Always think of the power words have. Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!"

At the school clinic today, I had a 15 year old male patient who came in complaining of colds. He was a well groomed teenager but I got irritated when he told me his complaint. He was very rude and disrespectful. So as I was taking his history, I made it a point to say "po" and be very respectful of him everytime I would say something or ask him a question. He must've noticed it because he started saying "po" afterwards.

I have been going there for 7 months already but this is the first time I had encountered such rudeness. I am not saying that he should always say "po" in every sentence or since I am a doctor, he should worship the grounds I walk on. It shouldn't even matter if the other person is your maid, the school janitor or the doctor. We should all respect the people we come in contact with whether older/younger than us or more/less educated than us. Respect doesn't even mean saying "po" or "opo" (although it is one Filipino trait that I am especially proud of) all the time. Respect could mean using the correct tone of voice when speaking or establishing eye contact when talking to a person.

Am I being old fashioned? I don't think so.

I am head over heels in love!

2006-03-01T00:28:00.000+08:00

Tricia, 6 months, trying out her pool :-D

Need I say more?

Kinikilabutan ako!

2006-02-26T18:17:00.000+08:00

I wonder kung ano ang dinadasal niya? Asking for forgiveness perhaps?

**Photo taken from inq7.net

Random thoughts on the country's state of emergency

2006-02-25T23:51:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: Everything written here is MY OWN opinion only and nobody else's. These are just the thoughts of a Filipino on the recent happenings here in the country. Anything written here cannot be construed as urging the people to be in open hostility to the goverment.

I was really surprised last Friday that upon arriving at the hospital, a friend told me that a coup was starting (only to be told several minutes later that it was foiled by the government). I didn't see anything unusual around my neighborhood nor in EDSA but that explains why Erap was being ordered to go back to Tanay which I saw briefly on TV while I was going out of the door! I was excited and scared at the same time. Excited because I couldn't wait to find out if at the end of the day the country will have a new president and scared because I know the President will do everything to stay in power. Like most Filipinos that day, I was glued to the TV almost the whole day. When I heard that the President declared a state of national emergency, shivers went up my spine and I had goose bumps all over.

Just when the police were dispersing the group of rallyists in Santolan with water hoses and sticks (hitting the rallyists even when they were running away and on their knees already), I was actually driving along EDSA on my way home. I saw on TV how they arrested Prof. Randy David while he was trying to talk to them amicably. I also saw how the police hosed down the people at the EDSA Shrine and how they advanced on the rallyists in Makati, putting women on the frontline. And even when the rallyists were already walking home, the police still advanced on them with their shields and sticks. Today, the news is full of stories about several key people in the opposition who are openly critical of the government (some of them was even in the Makati rally yesterday) being arrested, the house of Sen. Gringo Honasan searched, media warned on airing things against the government, newspaper offices/printing presses visited by the police and other government agents (the Daily Tribune which is pro-opposition was "temporarily taken over" by the government) and arrests left and right of people who are being accused of inciting to rebellion. Hmmm.... sounds familiar? Kaya nga ba natatakot ako eh!

I am really in awe at the President's political advisers. They are one very intelligent group! They always have an answer to every thing. When asked what is the significance of this state of emergency and what powers are given to the President by this declaration, they wouldn't give straight answers and would very wisely evade the questions (basta, the President would be given special powers daw). I was also confused when one Cabinet member said they declaration was for economic reasons only. Huh??? Hindi ko yata gets.

They said that the declaration was because of the threat to the government, because the Magdalo group was aligning with the Communists already and are planning a coup. Who says this is true? Where is their proof? They are accusing this and that person of being with the Magdalo-Communist group but the person talking doesn't even have the balls to show his face on TV! Oo nga naman, baka nga naman balikan ang pamilya niya ng mga Magdalo at mga Komunista. Yeah right!

They said this military officer is one of the coup leaders but he belied this in an interview saying that he was inside the military camp all along, this was even attested by his commander. They said these group of military personnels were on their way to Manila to join the coup attempt but one opposition group was interviewed as saying that yes, they were on their way to Makati because they want to express their sentiments by joining the rally but not to participate in a coup attempt.

When asked for his reaction to Hongkong's warning to their citizens to "exercise caution when travelling to the Philippines", Cong. Mike Defensor said that this is because foreigners are afraid of the threat being posed by the coup plots against the government not because of the declaration of the state of emergency. If this is true then the Hongkong government should've issued this advisory earlier this week when they arrested Lt. San Juan earlier this week or even last year when news of these coup attempts first surfaced. I think the Hongkong government reacted to the declaration of national emergency because for me, that declaration is almost tantamount to saying that "yes, there is a coup attempt and I am afraid that if I do not declare a state of emergency, they will succeed".

Just my two cents worth: This declaration is a strategy as well as the news of the coup attempt and the alliance between the Magdalo and the Communists. The government wants the people to hate the Magdalo group because of the alliance so that if a the group will lead a coup attempt, the people will not support them (who would want to support nga naman the Communists?). The alleged threat to the government, i.e. the coup attempt gives the government a reason to declare a state of national emergency and in turn would put a stop to the rallies in Metro Manila because if the rallies will not be stopped, it can become Edsa 3 and the President will be ousted. Hindi nga ba't isang rally sa Edsa ang nagpaalis at nagpakulong kay Erap?

PUNYETANG EDSA YAN!

Down ang pinoyatbp.!

2006-02-23T22:14:00.000+08:00

Sorry guys if you can't access the site. We also do not know what is wrong but we think it might be the server. We just hope it will be fixed soon. Sana huwag po kayong magsawa sa pagdalaw sa amin.

Take care everyone and God bless us all!

"We can never turn back the pages of time, though we may wish to relive a happy moment or say goodbye one last time, we never can...

2006-02-21T18:18:00.000+08:00

I went back to my former medical school this morning to apply for some documents at the registrar. After trying to look for a parking space for 15 minutes under the sweltering sun, I was ready to swear off my former school. Entering the building, I didn't think I would be nostalgic. After all, it wasn't even our building back then because the school transferred to another location a few years ago. But going up the unfamiliar stairway beside medical students who were worriedly discussing their research presentation later today; walking behind a former teacher in the hallway; seeing the name of my former laboratory instructor beside the title "Head, Clinical Microscopy"; seeing the manongs outside the laboratories, seeing the all familiar cork board outside the Pathology office with the words "For removal exams" and meeting the same old familiar faces at the Registrar's office, I couldn't help but smile. Yes, the guards, the ambience (they now have a very nice looking fountain on the 1st floor) and a whole lot of things may have changed but the spirit of the people there and the drive for excellence will never change.

... because the sands of time continue to fall and we can't turn the hourglass over."

Huh? Ako, judge?

2006-02-14T01:07:00.000+08:00

Dahil sa talaga namang ako ay pinagpala (kasi kamag-anak ko ang organizer), naatasan akong maging isa sa mga hurado noong nakaraang fiesta sa amin. Hindi naman big time, pang campus king and queen saka talent search lang naman ang aking "judging" ability.

Sa totoo lang, kinabahan ako. Di nga ba't may question and answer portion sa mga ganitong mga contest? Hindi ko kasi alam kung ano ang itatanong ko. Baka kasi batuhin ako ng mga tao doon kapag tinanong ko sila ng kung ano-ano. Ayoko din naman syempre tanungin sila ng "what do you think is the essence of being a woman?". Mabuti na lang at isang question lang sa lahat ng mga finalists at iyon ay tanong na gawa ng mga organizers. Naisip ko din, baka hindi ako marunong mag-judge. Pero ang pinaka-nakakakaba sa lahat, covered ng isang local tv station yung contest at mga local TV talents ang iba kong mga kasama!

Sabi sa akin, kelangan daw alas-syete, nandon na ako sa upisina ni vice mayor kasi may dinner daw. Hmp! Akala ko naman buffet style, yun pala styro style lang! Hindi din masarap yung pagkain tapos ni wala man lang juice o softdrinks, NAWASA juice lang ang meron. Nag-umpisa ang contest ng alas-nuwebe ng gabi, syempre hinintay pa kasi ang mga VIPs na natural fashionably late sa pagdating. Mag-aalas onse pa lang, masakit na ang ulo ko. Nakakahilo naman kasi yung 33 na mukha ang dadaan sa harap mo ng paulit-ulit. Masakit din sa mata yung mga ilaw. Mabuti na lang at may pre-judging sila dun sa contest na yon at hindi na kami masyadong nahirapan. Maski dun sa talent search, tig-limang finalist na lang ang nadinig namin kumanta at nakita naming sumayaw. Sa totoo lang, magagagaling iyong mga bata lalo na yung mga nagsayaw.

Magaganda at guwapo din yung mga kasali sa beauty contest. Kaya nga lang, sabi nga ng kapatid ko, "beauty and brains do not really go together". I'm sure hindi lahat ng tao sasang-ayon dito. Hindi din naman sa lahat ng pagkakatao ganito pero nung gabing yon, napatunayan ko na tama nga ang kapatid ko. Noong unang labas pa lang ng mga contestants, meron na akong nagustuhan, magaganda kasi ang mukha at tindig. Para hindi ako mahirapan sa pagbigay ng puntos, sa mukha at katawan muna ako tumingin. Noong natapos na lamang yung question and answer portion, saka ako nagbigay ng puntos para sa katalinuhan. Kaya ang ending, yung pinaka-gusto kong mukha sa mga lalaki, naging 3rd runner up lang at yung sa babae naman ay naging 1st runner up lang sa akin.

Siyam kaming judges kaya syempre, iba-iba ang aming mga napili. Sa talent search, dun lang sa sayaw ako tumama (pero kasi unanimous decision naman yon). Dun sa kantahan, ni isa hindi ako tumama. Mahilig kasi ako manood ng mga singing contest sa TV kaya naman nasanay akong makinig sa ultimo kaliit-liitang notang kinakanta ng mga kasali. Pero kung pagbabasehan ko yung reaksyon nung katabi kong judge, hindi ako nag-iisa. Dun sa beauty contest, yung mga gusto ko ang nanalo sa mga babae pero sa mga lalaki, yung grand prize at 1st runner up winners lang ang tama ko kasi may alam akong sikreto nung isang pinili nila. Pero dahil sa sikreto yon, tatahimik na lang ako....

What now?

2006-02-07T23:52:00.000+08:00

A lot has been said about the Wowowee incident at the ULTRA. Both my blogger friends Ella and Karen have written the best viewpoints. But aren't we missing something?

Maybe ABS-CBN was at fault because they should have anticipated the huge crowd and should've done something about it. Maybe Willie should be liable because he is the host and he did say he has a say in what goes on in the show, he saw the huge crowd already, he should've talked to the management about it. Maybe the victims should be blamed, they only want the easy way out. The government already said it is "too much" because people are blaming them for what happenned last Sunday. Okay, so an investigation was done and a case maybe filed against the organizers. I really don't believe that someone will pay (in jail) for what happenned.

The tragedy has occurred and everyone has been pointing fingers at each other. The other networks are banking on what happenned to get ratings. Hopefully people have learned from their mistakes. But did we bother to look into the cause of what made this huge crowd to brave the sun and the rain for 2 days to be able to get the chance to win 1M but instead ended up in the freezers of Arlington?

Look at it this way:

I am a 36 year old housewife with 4 children, my husband is a security guard but his pay is always late. We haven't eaten a decent meal in 2 days. I need to buy TB medicine for my mother-in-law. I want to augment my husband's income by putting up a sari-sari store but I don't have enough capital because just obtaining a permit to open up one would already cost me almost 1T. What am I to do?

We cannot undo what has happenned, we can do something so this will not happen again but we should do something now so that people will no longer need to push each other just to get the chance to have a better life.

Hay buhay!

2006-01-31T23:56:00.000+08:00

Naku, ewan ko ba naman kung hindi mapuno talaga ang mga Pilipino sa gobyerno natin. May pag-asa pa kaya tayo?

Unang buwan na naman kasi ng taon kaya renewal na naman ng mga permits. Syempre, dahil sa gusto ko maayos ang lahat sa clinic ko, nag-renew ako ng business permit ko. Aba, ang laki ng sinisingil sa akin! Sabi nung secretary namin, inilagay daw sa Php 150T ang income ko for last year. HUWAT??!! Apat na buwan pa lang ako nagsisimula ng clinic dito at kahit pa maningil ako ng Php 600 bawat pasyente, hindi pa din ako kikita ng ganon kalaki. Buti na lamang at may logbook ako ng mga nakikita kong pasyente dito sa clinic kaya ipinadala ko yon para ipakita dun sa mga tao sa City Hall. Uy... ang galing, pumayag namang ibaba, Php 50T na lang daw ang inilagay na kita ko, yun daw kasi ang pinakamababa na pwedeng ilagay. Ano ba naman yon, akala ba nila lahat ng doctor ay ganon kalaki ang kita? Namumuhunan pa ako sa bakuna, may mga binili pa syempre akong mga gamit para sa clinic. Kaya ayun, kalahati ng kita ko, naibayad ko sa kanila.

Akala ko okay na yon. Aba, bumalik yung secretary, hinihingian daw ako ng Sanitary permit; para makakuha ng ganong permit, kelangan may health certificate ako at yung secretary. Ha??!! Hindi naman karinderia o kaya ay massage parlor ang aking clinic para hingian pa nila ako ng Sanitary permit. Hindi naman siguro ako gagawa ng kung ano sa mga pasyente kong mga bulilit para kailanganin ko pang may health certificate. Haaayyy.... your guess is as good as mine folks. Mukhang walang matitira sa kinita ko ng apat na buwan. Nakaka-iyak!

Happy Chinese New Year!

2006-01-28T22:04:00.000+08:00

Tonight marks the start of the Year of the Dog. I wonder what is in store for me... I have read several magazines and newspaper supplements already but they all tell me different things. Now I'm lost!

To all my Chinese friends (in both my real and blogging world):

Perfect Lover and One Liner

2006-01-28T20:25:00.000+08:00

I got this tag from KAREN last week. Sorry Karen, this is late pero better late than never di ba?

The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different descriptions of their perfect lover.
He/she needs to mention the sex/gender of their perfect lover.
He/she must tag 8 more people to join this game and leave a comment on their page saying they've been tagged.
If tagged a second time, there's no need to post again.

HE should be:

really funny - i can talk about anything under the sun but i easily get bored when things become too serious, so this is a must for me.

smart - he doesn't need to be very intelligent, as long as we are in the same wavelength, its enough for me. imagine if you were with a guy who asks you to explain every punchline. aggghhh! being smart would also mean being man enough to ask questions if he doesn't understand things.

must like kids - i observed that guys who really loves kids are responsible.

sweet and thoughtful - its the small things that matter!

believes in equality - read as: marunong magluto at maglaba! hahahaha!

accepts me for who i am - including my moods and kakulitan

must love the people i love

must be God-fearing

pahabol: must spoil me

"wake up, you must be dreaming! "

Since I saw this tag in most of my blogger friends' posts and since #4 above says that you don't have to post a second time, I won't mention names na lang. If you didn't receive the tag and want to answer it, feel free to answer it.

P.S.

F, just in case you're lurking around and reading this, huwag sana lumaki ang ulo mo kasi hindi ikaw ang tinutukoy ko dito dahil obviously, you don't fit description #6. :-p

Parang Kelan Lang

2006-01-26T01:49:00.000+08:00

parang kelan lang, takot pa kaming kunin ka sa iyong kuna.
ngayon, dumadapa ka na.

parang kelan lang, wala ka pang alam kundi dumede lamang,
ngayon, marunong ka ng mag "close, open".

parang kelan lang, halos tapikin kita oras-oras para lamang magising at malaro kita.
ngayon, humahalakhak ka na.

parang kelan lang, tinitimplahan kita ng gatas kada-ikatlong oras.
ngayon, paborito mo na ang cereals at mashed potato.

parang kelan lang, small pa ang diaper at mga damit mo.
ngayon, medium na ang kasya sa'yo.

napapalingon ang mga nakakasalubong natin kapag karga ka, ang amo kasi ng mukha mo,
maski mga sales lady at bagger, hindi mo pinapalusot sa mga ngiti mo.

lahat ng pagod namin, nawawala madinig lang namin ang mga sigaw mo at natataranta kami sa bawat iyak mo.

nagagalak ang puso ko tuwing ihihiga kita sa timbangan at bumigat ka na naman ng isang kilo.

natutuwa kami tuwing may bago kaming nakikitang kakulitan sa iyo!

ahh... Tricia, limang buwan ka na! sana huwag ka namang magmadaling lumaki...

The Filipino People's Champion

2006-01-22T22:18:00.001+08:00

Pacquiao with tears of joy after defeating Eric Morales

MABUHAY SI MANNY PACQUIAO!

This is the first time that I watched a boxing fight in my entire life and I am so glad I did. At this moment, I'm just so proud to be PINOY!

10 Things I learned in 2005

2006-01-13T00:23:00.000+08:00

The year 2005 taught me that:

1.) God does provide.
2.) You reap what you sow.
3.) God moves in mysterious ways.
4.) I can really WRITE!! (Thanks to my friend Isabela for teaching me this)
5.) Not everything and everyone is what they seem to be.
6.) You don't need to see people face to face for them to become treasured friends.
7.) I can be reaaaallly patient when I want to be.
8.) Full time moms should be admired.
9.) I am an internet and blog addict. (I know I have been remiss in my blogging lately... sorry
po!)
10.) SOMETIMES PRAYERS TAKE A LONG TIME TO BE ANSWERED, BUT THE RIGHT
ONES ARE. - Danielle Steel, Answered Prayers

I'm back!

2006-01-01T16:13:00.000+08:00

First of all, sa lahat ng mga dumadaan kahit na hindi ako nakakapag-update ng blog, maraming-maraming salamat. Sa lahat ng mga nag-iwan ng message at pagbati sa tagboard ko, Patrice, Neng, Bethski, Karen, Bel, Ka Uro, Ahia Kenji, Diane, Jo, Darlene, Kadyo, Tintin, Ethel, TeacherSol, Honeypooh, Mam Bing, at iba pa, thank you for leaving messages kahit na hindi ko nasasagot agad. Basta, sa lahat-lahat, thank you! Alam kong nakaka-inis magpabalik-balik sa blog na walang update pero hindi kayo nagsawa sa akin.

Sabi ko ilang araw lang ako mawawala pero ang last post ko November 27 pa! Ang tagal ko din palang nag-absent. Iyong iba sa inyo, alam kung bakit ako nawala yung iba hindi pero kahit na ganoon, nag-iwan pa din kayo ng inyong mga well wishes at alam kong ipinagdasal ninyo kami. Bakit nga ba ako nawala? My aunt (my mom's younger sister) who is very close to me, was diagnosed with Invasive ductal carcinoma of the breast. Naturally, she came to me for help dahil ako lang ang doctor sa pamilya. Mahirap talaga kapag ganito ang sitwasyon, mahirap mag-isip at magdesisyon. Humingi kami ng second opinion, magaling na pathologist na yung pinuntahan namin, pareho ang verdict so we had no choice but to have my tita's breast removed because her's was a very aggresive cancer. Madami pang tests and visits to different doctors para ma-clear siya for operation tapos yung kabilang breast din niya, may mga suspicious areas on mammography so we still had to investigate that para kung kelangan tanggalin, isabay na dun sa kabila. You can just imagine the stress I was going through. I had to comfort my tita, her husband, my two cousins and the rest of the family at the same time deliver to them the bad news, explaining as simple as I can what is happening. I cannot show them that I am as affected as they are by the news because I have to be positive for my whole family. Thanks to some older colleagues who have become good friends, they took care of my tita and her operation went well. Through God's grace, my tita is only in Stage 1 - the cancer hasn't spread yet and she has a 95% cure rate, the suspicious area on her other breast turned out to be benign. Post-operative recovery was hard but my tita is one strong woman. I guess it also helped that everyone in the family is there supporting her. She still has to go to an oncologist but we are praying that she doesn't have to undergo chemotheraphy or just be given something orally. I know she still has a long way to go but we are positive that she can overcome this.

To everyone who prayed for my family, I can never thank you enough. God bless you all!

On a lighter note, I just came from a whole week vacation with my family, little Tricia included. My family and my tita's family went to Laoag City, Batac and Vigan City, all in Ilocos for a well deserved R & R. We all had fun playing the slot machine in Fort Ilocandia in Laoag. We visited the Marcos Museum in Batac and saw the preserved body of the Late President Marcos who according to the caretaker is under seven layers of wax atop a refrigerated glass display. In Vigan, we took the Calesa tour which brought us to the different tourist spots there. The old houses we saw were very grand and well preserved, I can almost imagine myself living there. Back in my mom's hometown, we went to a different party every day hence on Christmas day, I was already down with fever, cough and colds and missed most of our annual family reunion because I was sleeping inside our room. Several cousins together with their moms came home from the States to celebrate Christmas with us so it was doubly fun this year. My cousin Angela had so much fun giving money to the carolers and asked me why the kids are not with their moms and dads. Hmm... she must be thinking about going trick or treating in California on Halloween. We all came back to Manila a few pounds heavier, all with colds (little Tricia was not spared) but with lots of fun memories of our time with my assortment of aunts, uncles and cousins. I find it harder and harder saying goodbye to them lately. We miss each other so much and can't wait to spend time with each other again. I just hope that our planned Cebu adventure this summer pushes through. For the meantime, we all just have to be content with texting each other often.

God bless you all!

2005-11-27T23:24:00.000+08:00

I know I haven't been blogging that much lately but you still keep coming back. Your tags below are greatly appreciated. I may not have posted anything here for more than a week now but I read your tags and comments. Thank you very much.

I regret though that you will not be seeing much of me for the next couple of days. This is because I will be busy with some personal family matters. One of these days when everything has settled down, I will tell you all about it. My entire family need all your prayers and I'm counting on you all to be one of our prayer warriors. Thank you in advance for your prayers.

I promise though to visit all of you if time permits. Besides, I would only be gone for a few days. Maraming salamat ulit sa patuloy ninyong pagdaan dito.

Ahhh... the sweet taste of success!

2005-11-18T23:56:00.000+08:00

After weeks of preparation, our hardwork finally paid off. We won FIRST PRIZE in our hospital's interdepartmental case presentation contest!!!

The contest is held every year and all the different departments in our hospital are required to submit at least 1 entry each. In our department, we are always on the lookout for nice, interesting cases which we can present as our entry to the contest. We all take this contest seriously even if it is only a contest within the hospital, for after all, winning it would mean another feather to our cap. All departments are required to submit case resumes of their entries as early as September and come November, the contest proper which consists of time-limited oral presentation of the case followed by a question and answer portion is held. Each department is also required to invite their own judge who is not in any way connected to their respective departments to avoid bias. This year, our judge is a Pediatric Endocrinologist from UP-PGH. The other 3 judges all came from FEU but were trained and have their practice at different hospitals here in Metro Manila.

There were 5 contestants in all and our presentor was the last to present. The other contestants did well. I'm sure that like us, they also put so much work into their presentation (I should know, I was once in their place 3 years ago). I guess the judges were just looking for "some things" and were not satisfied. Naturally, the audience was already getting restless by the time our turn came but when the question and answer portion started, everybody was on their toes once again, our presentor answered all the judges' questions clearly and direct to the point. As soon as she left the podium, I knew already that we won (I am not just saying this because I am part of the "team") and judging from the whispers I kept hearing on our side of the contest venue, a lot of colleagues agreed with me.

We were all ecstatic when the names of the 3rd and 2nd prize winners were called and were already jumping with joy and relief when our presentor's name was announced as the first prize winner. Everyone who in any way contributed to the success of the presentation were all hugging each other. Our department chairman was grinning ear to ear, for 4 consecutive years now, our department always emerge as one of the winners.

At times like this, I am grateful that I chose to follow my heart when I made the decision where to have my residency. I tried really hard to fit in in that other prestigious training hospital but I was just not happy there. So inspite of my parents protests, I gave up my slot at the other hospital and came back to where I had my internship. I will never trade the years I spent here. Yes, we may not be the best and yes, we may not be popular but our department not only prepared me to be a good pediatrician, it also made me a better person. Here I was taught the importance of playing as a team, I found a second home and a second family here. One resident's victory is everybody's victory and one residents failure is everybody's failure.

A resident from another department asked me earlier what the occasion was because all of us in the "team" were all wearing pink, the answer is simple... our presentor was wearing pink.

2005-11-13T22:16:00.000+08:00

I didn't look for you but you came barging in.
I wasn't ready, but even if I was,
I don't think I could win.
You came in full regalia, on top of your white horse,
shield up and sword drawn, ready for battle.

The first time I laughed, I knew I had lost the war.
You showed me a glimpse of what it was like on top of a beautiful mountain,
underneath the magnificent sea,
You pulled me out of my reverie, out of my deep ravine.

You stayed with me every minute, every day for a year.
But I opened my eyes one day and saw that you were just but a dream...
And I am still deep in my ravine.

Motherhood the Shih Tzu Way

2005-11-08T18:01:00.000+08:00

To Karen and Neng, here's a picture of the puppies. This is not a very good shot though. Maybe next week when they're bigger, I'll be able to get a better one. Sadly, one of the puppies in this picture died the other day (as I mentioned in my previous post). I think its the rightmost one, they look identical kasi.

Besides our other dog China, who is a labrador, this is only our second time to take care of a nursing dog. When China got pregnant and gave birth, I was on my last year of residency training so I was busy at the hospital. But now with Toni, I was more involved with the whole pregnancy thing. From the time we learned she was pregnant up to the time she gave birth and now that she's nursing her puppies.

You'll be surprised how Toni developed her maternal instincts over night. Since this is her first time, we were quite afraid that she wouldn't know how to take care of her puppies. Our vet instructed us on how to take care of the puppies in case Toni wouldn't know how but she proved us all wrong. If at first she was nonchalant about her puppies, the moment she recovered from giving birth, she immediately bonded with her babies. She would lick each one of them to thermoregulate them and to make them do their "thing". Come feeding time, although we still have to assist her, she knows not to stand up and to stay still when her babies are nursing. She is so protective of her puppies that even my dad who she loves so much earned her ire when my dad tried to pick up one of her puppies. She doesn't even want to be parted from her babies even just for a while so we have no choice but to move her to where the puppies are and let her eat her meals there. Its also funny to see the puppies' father, Harry mope around the house all day missing Toni and his babies hence we also bring him to where they are from time to time so that he can bond with them. Haaay... if only all fathers are like Harry!

2005-11-08T01:41:00.001+08:00

Bakit ba minsan ang katahimikan ang hirap makamtan?

Parang laging sinasadyang may iihip na malakas na hangin,

At bubuhos ang nakakabinging ulan.

Oo nga't pagkatapos ay nagpapakita ang isang magandang bahag-hari,

Pumapayapa ang dagat at lumiliwanag ang paligid.

Ngunit ito'y pansamantala lamang.

Kung kailan akala mo abot-kamay mo na,

Iihip ulit ang hangin,

Bubuhos ulit ang ulan,

Didilim ulit ang langit...

Wasak na naman ang katahimikan!

Mood: Nostalgic

2005-11-05T23:31:00.000+08:00

I went home to the province with my parents for All Soul's Day. I always look forward to going home to my birthplace. Manila is my home now since my family is already based here but I still call my birthplace, HOME because somehow, I left a part of me there. When I was younger, going home meant going swimming in April, visiting my aunts' and Lolo's grave in November and lining up for Christmas presents in December. But lately, things have changed. You see, all of my mom's siblings (my mom is the eldest and she has 7 other living siblings) and my Lola are all living there. Going home for me now means talking to my aunt and cousin until the wee hours of the morning, going out with all my other cousins (26 in all), playing with my 2 nieces and nephew, listening to my Lola tell me all about her pains and medications or just catching up with my aunts and uncles. Now everytime I say goodbye to my Lola, aunts and cousins, I do so with a heavy heart. It used to be that 2 days was too long for me but now 3 days isn't enough. I have also noticed the same sadness in my cousins everytime they see us go. We are also never complete now during family gatherings. We must really all be getting old now...

Last November 2, we welcomed the newest addition to our growing family. Our shih tzu, Toni, gave birth to 5 beautiful and 1 handsome puppies. Sadly, 2 died a few minutes after birth and another one died late this afternoon. It really isn't that bad considering that Toni is a primi. Our vet says that Toni is such a good "breeder", giving birth to 6 puppies the first time. It would be wonderful if all the puppies survive but one friend says that this is usually not the case, maybe next time. I have never seen my father so panicked upon seeing that her precious Toni already gave birth to one puppy without the supervision of our vet. He scolded us because we didn't insist that we bring Toni to the vet the moment we saw signs that she may be giving birth soon when all the time that things were happening, he was there by Toni's side. We all laughed about it afterwards especially when my mom said "mas nag-panic ka pa noong nanganak si Toni kesa noong nanganak ako saka noong ipinanganak si Tricia". I just hope when the time comes to let go of the puppies, my dad would do so gladly.

Today is also my father's birthday. He turned 63 years old today. He doesn't look 63 though. I am praying that God will continue to bless him with good health so that we can all be together longer. I love you Papa! I know we will all be lost without you. You are the BESTEST!

Breastfeeding woes from Sassafras

2005-11-02T22:54:00.000+08:00

I'm sure you have read sassafras' tag and is interested to know what her "love letter" contains.

Here's my answer ...

Breastfeeding looks easy but it really can be very frustrating at times. It not only gives babies protection against certain illnesses (cough, colds, diarrhea, etc) if given for at least 6 months, it also gives important nutrients needed for the baby's growth and development. Another thing is that, it also helps strengthen the "bond" between mother and baby. BUT sometimes, no matter how willing mothers are to breastfeed, they just can't be successful (like your case or like the case of my patient, the mom have retracted nipples) hence the frustration.

It is expected that there will be no milk "let down" yet right after delivery. Sucking will stimulate this let down hence mothers should let the baby suck as soon as she is able (ideally 1 hour after birth) for milk to flow from the breast. The first 2 weeks after birth is very crucial for establishing breastfeeding. Okay lang if you use a breastpump then feed your baby breastmilk thru a feeding bottle for the first 2 weeks. Tapos if you are already relaxed and had completely recovered from giving birth, you can try to actually feed your baby from your breast na kahit pa konti lang ang milk mo; just give a supplemental bottle na lang to make up for the kakulangan for your baby to gain weight . Since you only started to latch Raya to your breast at 4 weeks, medyo confused siya kasi nasanay na siya sa feeding bottle nipple but that should not be a big problem, kailangan lang sanayin mo si Raya. You can breastfeed her one or two times daily at first until you and Raya have established a routine. And since medyo late nga yung pag start mo ng routine ninyo, mas mahirap kaya kelangan ng mas madaming tiyaga. Don't give up, just be patient and masasanay din si Raya.

Yes, the baby is more efficient talaga sa pag empty ng breast thru sucking kesa sa breastpump. Some doctors would even advice mothers to let their husbands do the sucking kung ayaw ni baby initially mag-suck just to stimulate milk production and let-down kasi the best stimulus for milk secretion is the regular and complete emptying of the breasts.

It is important too that you are in a happy and relaxed state of mind if you breastfeed kasi your baby can sense your anxiety. But if she refuses your breast even after patiently trying to establish a routine, don't worry, you can still give her breastmilk thru a bottle. Makukuha pa din niya yung mga nutrients at protection na mabibigay ng breastmilk. Don't worry about bonding with her kasi if you spend time with her when you're at home, you'll be bonding with Raya na din naman. Take time out to play with her, talk to her and touch her, listen to music with her and read to her.

Relax. Savor your time with your baby because before you know it, she will be getting ready for school na.

Good luck! :-)

Sabi ko na nga ba

2005-10-25T00:01:00.000+08:00

During my residency, we had Thursday as our Bakuna Day. Depending on the schedule, we had several vaccines available which we administered to our patients at the OPD. Now that I have my own practice (plus the times I cover for my mentors), I also administer these different vaccines to patients. If you would ask me for an estimate, I would say, I have vaccinated hundreds maybe even thousands of children already but it did NOT prepare me for Tricia.

I won't bore you with the details of recommended immunizations for children here in the Philippines but suffice it to say that all in all, a fully immunized child per Philippine Pediatric Society standards would mean approximately 26 shots in 18 years.

For several days now, we have been eagerly awaiting Tricia's 2nd month birthday. It is a very significant milestone for us since it would mean one step towards Project Healthy Tricia. My dad has been psyching baby Tricia about her date with the needle for a week now and everytime she hears the word "bakuna", she would cry. We both tried explaining to her that it is for her own good but she will only be appeased if we take back what we said. Isn't she one smart baby? :-D

Personally, I was dreading this day. I even tried backing out of it but my dad firmly said NO! I kept looking at Tricia's legs and then I would look at her sweet face with pity. To top it all, the combination vaccine which was supposed to decrease the 27 shots into 12 shots suddenly became unavailable. I asked my more senior colleagues about the best alternative - 15 shots but for the 1st three immunizations, I would have to give 1 shot on the thigh and another shot on the arm. Hmm... I think that still beats the 27 shots or so I thought.

Earlier this evening (had to do it late because my brother wanted to be there to witness this milestone), I bravely prepared the necessary equipments while Tricia was playing happily on the bed. And then the moment came... Tricia was already crying her heart out while my dad was holding her arms and legs ready for what was to be done. Still, I put on my doctor "let's get this over with" demeanor and prepared Tricia for the 2 shots. I tried shutting myself out completely from what I was seeing and hearing - Tricia all red and sweaty from crying loudly while I was giving her the first shot but as soon as I was done giving her the second shot, I wasn't able to control myself - I picked Tricia up, hugged her and cried! As if it wasn't already humiliating enough, everything was caught on tape for posterity's sake!

Sabi ko na nga ba, hindi ko kayang tusukan si Tricia! But I still have 2 months to prepare myself for the next dose. Abangan!

My week in a nutshell

2005-10-22T23:14:00.000+08:00

Before I tell you how my week went (this is just actually an excuse so that you will know why I haven't been blogging as much as I used to), let me just share with you this letter for a very dear friend who celebrated her birthday last Friday.

Dear Michelle,

Hello friend! How was your birthday? Was it your first birthay in 3 years that you weren't on duty? hehehe! Must have been a big change for you. It was like that for me too so hindi ka nag-iisa.

I know it has been a stressful 2 weeks for you but the worst is over now so you can smile na and EAT! Don't be sad na din kasi everybody goes through what you are going through right now. I am going through the same situation but I do not let it get to me. Ask the big wigs there and they will tell you the same. Ganon lang talaga, lilipas din yan. Be happy! Sayang lang ang cute mong face kapag sad ka. :-D I know you must be thinking, bakit sina ganito at ganon okay na sila pero are they REALLY happy? You don't have to strive as hard as them. You are trying it out on your own, not riding with somebody else so you should be proud of yourself. Enjoy your newfound freedom for now and one of these days, our time will come.

I love you my friend and I miss our residency days. Kahit na hindi ka sumasama sa mga gimik at palaging nagmamadali umalis after endorsement, madami din tayong mga fun times together. If I would do it all over again, I wouldn't want to change anything. I would never trade you guys with the others. Pero mas masaya siguro kung kasama natin si Jex. ;-)

Smile na dyan! Hindi ka ba natutuwa sa clinic natin? Makulay di ba? hehehehe! Pwede ka maglagay doon ng other toys if you want. Belated happy birthday Mi!

Love,
Nikki

p.s.
Kelan mo ako ililibre? :-D

Now, on to other things....

It has been a physically plus mentally stressful week and also an emotional one for me. But I don't want to dwell on the emotinal part anymore. So let's just focus on the stressful part. I spent 3 of my 6 day clinic week in one of my mentor's clinic. She attended an out of town convention so she asked me to cover for her. I covered for her several times before so it wasn't something new to me pero this time I was in for a shock. Grabe!! My first day there didn't start well because I was so mad at the guard on duty when after explaining that I was there not as a patient but was covering for someone else (who had a reserved parking space), he still asked me to pay him Php60.00 which was later returned to me after some harassment from the secretary. I had lunch at 2:30 pm that day. I was willing to finish all the charts infront of me but the secretary said, enough is enough, you need to eat because you might be swamped with patients again (at the time, there were 3 charts remaining still on the desk). I saw a total of 16 patients and for me, it is a fete because some patients are very particular about seeing their own doctor not some substitute doctor. But I wasn't as tired as I thought because I even had the energy to meet with an old friend from med school. I went home late but relaxed and smiling.

I had a break the next day but I still had to go to my other clinic, a 45 minute drive for me and attended our weekly conference. I am glad I made myself attend that because had I followed my heart, I would've missed one of the most informative conferences we have ever had this year. Little did I know that the updates I learned that day would be a great help for me the next day.

The second day I covered for my mentor, I saw.... drumroll pls! 40 patients. I had my lunch 30 minutes earlier than the first day but by 4 pm, I was so tired, all I wanted to do was drive home and sleep for a whole day. But it was not meant to be because I still had several patients to see so I went home at 5:30 pm.

By the time my last day to cover at the clinic came, I was already dreading every minute of my drive to the place. I saw 18 patients in all. But by the time I was halfway through the charts, I was starting to feel the beginnings of a headache. By 10:30 am, I was already massaging my forehead in between patients and at 12:30 pm, I was finally able to eat lunch and take some paracetamol for my headache. But the day was not yet over for me. I was still supposed to drive from Quezon City to Manila to my mentor's other clinic. There were several rallies scheduled that day in Manila and I was prepared for the worst traffic of my life but lo and behold, it was smooth driving for me. God must have been really looking out for me that day because I didn't even have a hard time looking for a parking space. However, I still had to take another 500 mg tablet of paracetamol before I started seeing patients. I was done by 6 pm and had seen 19 patients in all. My throat was so dry and as much as I wanted to go home already, I had to eat the food the secretary gave me so that I can drink another stronger pain reliever in preparation for my long drive home. I arrived here at 7 pm and sweet talked my dad into massaging my head, so at 10 pm, as soon as my head hit the pillow I was already in dreamland.

There were times when I regreted having said yes to this cover thing but when you look at it in another light, it has been a great learning experience for me. I can now explain the benefits of the flu vaccine even in my sleep (that from giving the explanation over and over again) and I once again passed the test in patience with flying colors. I am also flattered that I was chosen to do this, it could have been someone else from the pool of pediatricians she trained but she chose me. :-)

I believe I deserve a break hence I shouldn't be feeling any guilt when I go home with my parents to the province for All Soul's Day (but I still haven't made up my mind yet on going). I am so looking forward to being with my cousins and other relatives again even for just a day or two. Yipee!!!

I still do not know what to expect this coming week because I was given other responsibilities at the hospital. But I am guessing that it involves a lot of practicing for the coming annual inter-departmental case presentation in our hospital. Haaayyy....

2005-10-16T22:44:00.000+08:00

Sa bawat pag-iyak mo,
Nagkakandarapa kami sa pagtakbo.

Sa bawat tunog na madinig mula sa iyo,
Sinasabi namin, ikaw ay isang henyo.

Sa bawat pag-angat ng ulo mo,
Pumapalakpak kami sa lakas mo.

Sa tuwing nakikita ko ang iyong mga mata,
Natutuwa ako sapagkat napaka-inosente ng mga ito.

Sa kabila ng kaguluhan sa paligid mo,
Wala kang malay,
Tuloy pa rin ang pag-ikot ng mundo mo.
Walang dungis... mapayapa... puno ng pagtitiwala...

Inggit ako sa 'yo,
Sana ganyan din dito sa mundo ko!

Belated happy birthday blog!

2005-10-08T13:25:00.000+08:00

Nagdiwang ng anniversary ang blog ko noong September 27 pero dahil nga sa ako ay nagkasakit, lumipas lang yaong araw na yon.

Parang kailan lang nang una kong madiskubre ang mundo ng blogging. Nabasa ko lang siya sa website ng isang sikat na dyaryo. Dinalaw ko lang yung mga nakalagay doon na URL, nagbasa at natuwa kaya pagkatapos noon ay na-engganyo na akong subukin din ang blogging. Nakaka-adik pala talaga! Mahilig na talaga ako magsulat mula nang bata pa pero pang-personal lamang na babasahin ang mga iyon, kaya nga takot na takot akong mag-blog dati kasi pakiramdam ko parang isinisiwalat ko na sa buong mundo kung ano ang aking mga nasa isip at mga nararamdaman. Walang nakaka-alam na nagsusulat ako. Madami sa mga kaibigan ko ang nagulat na kaya ko palang magsulat noong mabasa nila itong blog ko. Hanggang ngayon, madalas pa din akong may agam-agam sa aking mga isinusulat, para kasing nahuhubaran ang aking pagkatao sa tuwing nagsusulat ako at inilalathala dito ang mga ito. Isa pa, madalas, ako mismo nasasagwaan sa aking mga akda. Sabi nga sa Ingles "we are one's worst critic" . Kaya nga nakakataba talaga ng puso kapag may mga taong dumadalaw at nagbabasa ng aking mga kwento dito. Lalo na kung nagugustuhan ninyo ang mga ito. Nakakatuwa kapag nakikita kong bumabalik kayo at nag-iiwan ng mga mensahe o di kaya'y mga komentaryo.

Ni hindi ko namalayan na may isang taon na pala akong nagsusulat dito. Ang daming nangyari sa akin dito mula nang una akong mag-blog. Dumami ang aking mga nakilala, ang iba, nagpaalam na dito sa mundo ng blogging. Madami na din akong naging mga kaibigan dito kaya naman parang hindi kumpleto ang araw ko kapag hindi ko sila nadadalaw. Ang dami ko din natutunan dito. Siguro ang ipinag-kaiba lamang ng blogosphere at ng totoong mundong ginagalawan natin ay ang mga taong itinuturing nating mga kaibigan ay nakikilala lamang natin sa kanilang mga obra. Hindi natin sila nakikita, hindi nakakasalamuha ng harapan ngunit kapag may problema, nagdadamayan. Akala ko dati, tahimik itong mundong pinasok ko, hindi pala. Minsan, natatangay ka ng malakas na agos at wala kang ibang maaasahan kundi ang sarili mo lang. At gaya ng buhay sa totoong mundo, ang mundo ng blogging ay punong-puno din ng choices. Kailangang mag-isip at manimbang. Kailangang marunong ka ng diplomasya upang maging matiwasay at tahimik ang iyong buhay. Natutunan ko din na dapat ihanda ang sarili sa mga disappointments kasi madami nun dito sa blogosphere. Adik na nga talaga ako dahil sa dami ng pinagdaanan ko dito, hindi ko pa din makuhang lisanin ang mundong ito.

Sa inyong lahat na dumadalaw at nagbabasa, maraming, maraming salamat! Sa mga tahimik namang sumisilip, maraming salamat din at sana dumating ang araw na iwanan nyo naman ako ng tag o di kaya'y komentaryo na napadaan kayo. Dahil sa inyo, nandito pa din ako. Sana sa susunod na taon nandyan pa din kayo kasama kong nagdidiwang. Pero sana hindi na belated ang selebrasyon.

God bless us all!

2005-10-01T23:50:00.000+08:00

I very much wanted to do something special for my 1st birthday in the blogsphere which was last September 27 and I really feel bad that the moment had passed without any celebration all because I was sick. I really hate being sick! I don't like the idea of spending the whole day in my bed because I have a headache and my throat was so dry. Hence, for the first time since I can remember, I was a good patient (not at all times though! hehehe!), dutifully taking my medicines.

Inspite of it all, it was a very busy 2 weeks for me. Even if not feeling well myself, I still had to attend to my patients and my mentor's patients because she too was admitted in the hospital albeit not critical, due to a possible life-threatening illness nonetheless. My former co-residents and I took turns staying with her in her hospital room because she had nobody else there with her except for a special nurse round the clock. Don't ask me why and how that happenned because it does not concern us. However, it is sufficient to say that what happenned to her again reminded me that it pays to be a good friend and a good person. It also made me look closely at some things in my life and it has been a struggle for me but I know that God will not leave me and that He will provide!

Now everything is back to normal (I hope!) and I am so looking forward to taking it easy this coming week and syempre, to blogging and blog hopping once again. Ahh... life is good!

God bless us all!

I need a brief rest

2005-09-23T21:07:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone! Sorry if I haven't been very diligent in posting here in my blog this past few days. I have just been soooo busy lately. You just can't imagine how busy. As a proof, I am now sick. :-( So I would be resting muna for a couple of days but I will be back. Promise! As if naman ma-mimiss ninyo ako! Hehehehe! For the meantime, you can visit pinoyatbp. Our topic there is all about clothing. My post was already published several days ago.

Thanks! See you!

Isang Paki-usap

2005-09-18T23:18:00.000+08:00

Sumisikat na ang araw,
Di pa din ako makatulog.
Harap sa kaliwa,
Harap sa kanan,
Tayo, upo, dapa...

Napapapikit na ang aking mga mata
Ngunit animo'y nabuhusan ng tubig
At napapa-igting muli
Dahil umiiyak ka na naman...

Haay Tricia, nagsusumamo ako,
Matulog ka na please!

After spending an almost sleepless night with my niece, Tricia because her parents had to attend to a family matter, I now have more respect for working moms and yayas out there who takes care of these cute babies day in and day out. As a pediatrician, I have been constantly exposed to these babies for 4 straight years during my residency training but only when I made my rounds in the nursery when I was on duty or if I was assigned to a post at the nursery (these posts changes monthly). I have not tried taking care of a baby for 24 hours, not until yesterday. For those of you who have yet to experience it, the task is very tiring and sometimes frustrating. Perhaps even more so for those who are not trained to interpret a baby's cry and body language to mean something. Take for example the time when I heard Tricia crying high-pitched and was crankier than usual. She must be missing her parents hence the extra crankiness. But what about the high-pitched cry? I bet some would not even notice the difference. Ahh.. might be a case of colic. Inspection of her tummy confirmed my suspicion so I immediately sought a remedy for that. And then night time came, she again became cranky and looked like she was pushing. Hmmm... constipation, I thought. Lo and behold, after helping (you don't want to know the details of how I did this) her do her thing, she quieted down and slept for 3 straight hours. Things are looking good for me. But I guess I spoke too soon because just when my head hit my pillow after feeding her and putting her to sleep for almost an hour, I was getting up again to see what was the matter this time. She just looked at me from her crib as if to say "Wala lang, gusto lang kita gisingin". I tried everything to make her go to sleep again, I tried talking to her, reading to her, singing to her, pleading with her and playing my dad's tapes (which I usually do not listen to) at 3 am because she apparently likes listening to it but to no avail. Just when I was about to give up, she suddenly settled down and slept. By then, it was already almost 7 am.

Now I appreciate the yayas I used to fight with when I was still a little girl. I should've been nicer to them because what they do is not easy. Attending to the needs of a small child who is not even your own and doing a great job at it requires patience and dedication. Now I appreciate more my parents who took care of me by themselves and then still had to go to work the next day. My mom is lucky, my dad was also a hand-on parent. I pity those wives whose husbands think that taking care of a child is only a woman's responsibility. I pity those single moms who doesn't have someone who can help them take care of their child.

Moral of the story:Huwag mag-aanak kung hindi handang magpuyat araw-araw. Unless makahanap ng paraan na maipanganak ang bata na anim na buwan na agad. :-)

10 Excuses to let your EX know that you miss him

2005-09-14T00:05:00.000+08:00

Hindi ba minsan kahit na matagal na kayong nagkahiwalay ng dati mong kasintahan, may mga pagkakataong naaalala mo pa din siya? Kahit pa sabihin mong masalimuot ang inyong paghihiwalay, meron talagang mga pagkakataon na papasok siya sa isipan mo. Sa akin, nangyayari ito. Minsan, sabi ng mahadera kong kaibigan, bakit ba hindi ko daw padalhan ng email si EX at sabihin na na-mimiss ko siya? Sayang naman daw kasi yung feeling kung hindi malaman nung tao. Hmmm.... napaisip tuloy ako, kelangan may strategy, may dahilan kung bakit ako biglang napa-email para hindi naman ako magmukhang stalker. Yung subtle lang ba...

1. nabasa mo ang mga lumang emails niya - Obvious naman siguro ito na naalala mo siya kasi nga nabasa mo yung mga love emails ninyo noon. Ngayon, kung waiis ang EX mo, he will see through your excuse.

2. nakita mo ang mga pictures niya - Kaya nga may mga litrato di ba para maalala mo ang isang tao o isang okasyon?

3. nabasa ang mga lumang text - Isa pa itong style na bulok! Kasi kung ang huling text niya sa iyo ay noong isang taon pa, ibig sabihin, hindi mo binura ang mga text niya sa inbox mo. Kaya kung ayaw mong mabisto na head over hills in-love ka pa din sa kanya at hindi mo lang siya biglang naisip, huwag mong gamiting excuse ito.

4. nakita ang dating regalo - Siguraduhing ang babanggiting regalo ay iyong pinaka-mamahalin o di kaya iyong pinaka-memorable na bigay niya para malaman niyang mahalaga ang mga ito sa iyo.

5. gusto mong magpalit ng radyo ng kotse mo at nais mong hingin ang opinyon niya - Magandang excuse ito dahil sa siguradong matutuwa ang EX mo. Bukod kasi sa mga babae, kotse ang isa pang kinalolokohan nila.

6. nabasa mo ang isang pocketbook na kapareho ng istorya ninyo - Maganda din siguro kung isama mo na sa email mo yung title saka kung sino ang sumulat ng libro baka kasi isipin niya na ikaw ang sumulat nito, lumaki pa ulo non!

7. nadinig sa radyo ang paborito niyang kanta - Sabihin mo na din kung ano yung title nung kanta na yon para naman hindi ma-obvious na excuse mo nga lang ito pero make sure na siguradong siya ang may paborito nung kanta hindi iyong isa mong ex.

8. nakita mo sa friendster ang profile niya - Isa pa itong excuse na kung wais ang ex mo ay maiisip niyang style mo din lang ito kasi unless na kasama siya sa network of friends mo, sa dami-dami ng mga sumali sa friendster, hindi mo lang basta-basta makikita ang profile niya maliban na lang kung nag-search ka para sa profile niya.

9. may nakitang kamukha sa simbahan - Hmmm... original itong excuse na ito. Pwedeng-pwede talaga itong gamitin lalo na kung gusto mong ma-update kung saan na siya ngayon nakatira. Maaari mo kasing tanungin kung doon na ba siya sa malapit sa simbahan na yon nakatira kasi may nakita ka nga na kamukha niya.

10. pumasyal ang nanay mo sa probinsiya nila - Eh ano naman ngayon? Ginamit na din ito sa aking dahilan. Uy, ibig sabihin pala na-mimiss din niya ako. (wink) Nangangarap lang po!

Pero para sa akin, ang pinaka original na excuse ay ang sabihing napanaginipan mo siya . Ang mga panaginip daw kasi ay may ibig sabihin, ito daw ang mga bagay sa iyong subconscious. Minsan naman, isa daw itong paraan upang iparating sa isang tao ang isang mensahe - ito ang pwede mong gamitin na dahilan sa iyong email. Napanaginipan mo siya kaya naisip mo na kumustahin siya. Nagamit ko na ito noon pero totoo naman kasing napanaginipan ko siya.

O hindi ba, hindi naman garapal? Kanya-kanya lang namang style talaga yan pero kung malakas ang loob mo, pwede mo din namang diretsahing sabihin sa kanyang miss mo nga siya. Paalala lamang, ihanda din ang sarili na baka isnabin lang ng EX mo iyong email mo pero kung sagutin niya, eh di masaya!

For Mama

2005-09-10T00:15:00.000+08:00

Everytime people say we were raised well, they don't seem to remember that you practically raised us by yourself during our formative years because Papa was always away. Of course we always felt his presence even if he was not always with us because you would insist that we write to him almost every week and that we talk to him at least once a month but it was you who were with us everyday, watching as we interact with our playmates, buying the things we need, helping us with our homeworks and disciplining us when we needed to be disciplined. Maybe that is why when we were growing up, you were always the "bad" parent for me because you were the one who always scolded me whenever I did something wrong. I also always thought you loved my brother more than me because you seem to favor him more than me. But now I realize that it is not because you love me less but because I really am a papa's girl that I can get away with almost anything with Papa (hehehehe!).

I know I don't tell you often but I really appreciate your sacrifice for us. You left behind your career as a teacher and opted to stay home with us when we started living here in Manila. Even though we had maids, you still made it a point to wake up early so that you can fix my hair and bid us goodbye as we board the school bus at 5:00 in the morning. When I was in college, during medical school and residency, you never once demanded from me that I help out around the house even if we didn't have maids because you saw how hard I was studying hence you want me to just sleep and rest whenever I can.

You may not tell us often but I know you are proud of what me and my brother has become. I can see the glow in your eyes when people tell you you and Papa are so lucky or when you introduce us to people. I know sometimes we argue about things but I guess its just natural because you and Papa raised us to have minds of our own.

Today, on your birthday, I want you to know that I really appreciate all that you have done for us. And yes, you are right, we will all be lost without you. I love you very much. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Only in the Philippines

2005-09-06T23:54:00.000+08:00

DISCLAIMER: Ang mga mababasa ninyo dito ay pawang mga opinyon ko lamang. Hindi ko layunin ang sirain ang kahit na sinong tao, ako ay nagbibigay lamang ng aking pananaw sa mga pangyayari.

Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ako o magmamaktol sa kainisan sa mga pangyayari ngayong araw na ito. Gaya ng karamihan ng mga Pilipino, ilang linggo ko ding sinisilip-silip ang mga debate tungkol sa impeachment ni GMA. Hindi na mahalaga ngayon kung ako ay pro o against sa impeachment na ito. Kaya lang, kalabisan na yata yung gawing joke ang isang napaka-importanteng bagay. Kinabukasan ng buong bayang Pilipinas ang pinag-desisyunan sa Kongreso pero tama bang gawing katuwaan ito? Tama bang gawing sugal "in the spirit of fun" ang resulta ng botohan sa Kongreso para sa impeachment ni Presidente Arroyo? Isa sa mga hinahangaan kong katangian ng mga Pinoy ang pagiging masayahin natin, kahit anong problema kinakaya natin dahil marunong tayong pagtawanan ang ating problema. Ngunit sa palagay ko, kalabisan nang gawing joke ang impeachment na ito. Kung sana isang ordinaryong mamamayang Pilipino ang naka-isip na nagpataya sa mga tao kung ano ang magiging huling numero sa score ng impeachment voting na ito, oo, matatawa ako at hahanga dahil isa na naman itong patunay na kakayanin natin itong pagsubok na ito sa atin dahil nakukuha pa din nating magkatuwaan. Pero kapag ang katuwaan ay galing na mismo sa Office of the Press Secretary ng Presidente ng Pilipinas, hindi na iyon nakakatawa. If this is the Palace's idea of a joke, it is not funny at all. Hindi ba't isa itong insulto sa Kongreso at sa mga mamamayang Pilipino? Dapat kayong mahiya sa inyong mga sarili dahil sa ginawa ninyong katuwaan lamang ang magiging kinabukasan ng inyong mga anak at mga apo. Sa mga paliwanag ng mga Kongresista sa kanilang mga desisyon, ginamit nila ang mga salitang "the voice of the people" mayroon pang, "the voice of God". Kung ganon, katawa-tawa pala ang boses ng sambayanan at ang boses ng Diyos kasi nakuha nilang gawing sugal ito, all "in the spirit of fun".

Naaawa ako sa mga batang kapapanganak pa lamang dahil hindi ko alam kung ano ang bukas na haharapin nila kung ang mga namumuno sa ating bansa ay mga taong ganito ang isip. Nawawalan na ako ng pag-asa sa bayan ko, iniisip ko nang lisanin siya dahil pakiramdam ko, talong-talo ako. Ngunit matigas ang aking paniniwala na may hangganan din ang lahat at hindi natutulog ang Diyos.

Patricia Louise

2005-09-03T20:48:00.000+08:00

Tricia, inside the nursery

Mahal kong Tricia,

Ang bilis ng araw! Parang kailan lang, inip na inip na kami sa pagdating mo. Wiling-wili kami ng Daddy at Mommy mo sa pamimili ng mga gamit mo. Napagalitan pa nga kami nina Mama Lola at Papa Lolo dahil sobrang dami daw ng mga binili namin. Pero alam mo, hanggang sabi lang nila yon kasi alam kong sila din natutuwa na makitang unti-unti nang naiipon ang mga gamit mo.

Noong araw na ipinanganak ka, pagod na kaming lahat kasi ang tagal bago ka lumabas pero noong nakita ka namin, sulit na sulit ang pagod namin. Ang ganda-ganda mo kasi! Nakahinga ako ng maluwag dahil isa kang perfect na baby. Saan ka ba naman nakakita ng baby na paglabas pa lang ay nakadilat na ang mga mata at nagreklamo na na para bang nagsasabing "inistorbo ninyo ako!". Sa nursery, naging paborito ka ng mga nurses kasi napaka-bait mong bata. Iiyak ka lamang kapag gutom ka o di kaya'y basa. Nakakolekta ka ng madaming tita sa dami ng dalaw mong mga nurse at doktor. Manghang-mangha sa iyo sina Daddy at Mommy, nagtatalo kung sino ang kamukha mo. Ang kulit nila ano? At hindi pa nila alam kung ano ang gagawin nila sa iyo. Natakot din kami kasi kinailangan mo pang bigyan ng antibiotic tatlong beses isang araw sa loob ng isang linggo dahil nagkaroon ka ng infection, ikaw din ay nanilaw dahil sa magka-away ang dugo ninyo ni Mommy pero dahil sa mahal ka namin, nagtiyaga kaming paarawan ka tuwing umaga at turukan ng antibiotic.

At ngayon, 10 days old ka na! Sa awa ng Diyos ay magaling na ang iyong infection . Ang dami mo na ding ipinagbago! Lumaki ka na at unti-unting tumataba. Kulang na kasi sa iyo ang 2 onsa ng gatas. Mabait ka pa din namang baby pero may mga kaunting kalokohan na din. Nung isang araw, niloko mo kami ni Mommy, pinapalitan ka na namin ng diaper tapos biglang umihi ka ulit. Maski sa pagtulog, madalas kang sumisimangot. Naiinis ka kapag hindi ka makatulog at gustong-gusto mo kapag pinapatulog ka na nakahiga sa dibdib namin.

Tricia, 10 days old

Sa iyong pagdating, nabago ang ikot ng mundo namin. Palagi na kaming nagmamadali ngayon na umuwi para makita ka at makarga. Kung dati ang madalas kong pinupuntahan ay sa Ladies Section ng mga malls, ngayon, mas nauuna ko nang puntahan ang Babies Section. Noong isang araw, hindi ko napigilan na ibili ang kinita ko sa klinik ng mga damit mo. Sabi nila, napaka-swerte mo daw. Tama sila kasi ang daming nagmamahal sa iyo. Pero alam mo, kinakabahan din ako kasi hindi ko alam kung anong mundo ang naghihintay sa iyo sa paglaki mo. Sana lang ma-protektahan ka namin sa kung ano man ang dumating sa iyong hindi maganda. Sana mapalaki ka namin ng may tiwala sa sarili, pagmamahal sa kapwa at higit sa lahat may takot sa Diyos.

Magpapakabait ka palagi. Huwag ka nang maghahanap ng kakampi sa kung saan-saan dahil nandito lang kami palagi sa tabi mo. Mahal na mahal ka namin!

Nagmamahal,

Mama Nikki

Alam Mo Ba?

2005-08-30T20:21:00.000+08:00

Pambihira talaga itong si ISABELA. Kung ako ay isang writer, kakabahan ako kapag editor ko siya kasi matindi magbigay ng assignment!

Unang kita ko pa lang sa larawan na ito, natawa na ako at madami nang naglaro sa aking isipan. Sana kahit ako ang pinaka-huling sumagot sa iyong pala-isipan, magustuhan mo ito kaibigan.

alam mo ba na sa bawat...

sulat na hindi mo naipadala
tawag na hindi mo nagawa
pagkikitang hindi mo sinipot
salitang hindi mo binigkas
yakap na hindi mo naibigay at
pangakong hindi mo natupad,
napakadaming luha ang dumaloy sa aking mga mata?

at kung ang hapding aking nadama ay nabigyan lamang ng lunas,
sana, hindi lamang ang puso ko ang nagdugo,
kundi pati ang aking sikmura!

Book Quiz

2005-08-29T20:40:00.000+08:00

My very busy friend TEACHER SOL gave me an assignment almost 2 weeks ago... I know this is long overdue but better late than never! :-)

Total Number of Books Owned :

I must have 500 books in all, this is not counting my medical books.

Last Book I Bought:

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Last Book I Read :

While doing the labor watch on my sister-in-law, I read A Gift From the Past, a romance novel I bought at Book Sale so that I won't fall asleep.

Five books that mean a lot to me:

1. Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom
2. The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks
3. P.S. I Love You by Cecelia Ahern
4. Sam's Letters to Jennifer by James Patterson
5. Nelson's Textbook of Pediatrics

p.s.

Sorry for the delay! :-D

What were you...

2005-08-27T22:42:00.000+08:00

Thanks to NAO, I was forced to look back and reminisce on what I was, what I had become and what I will be. Read on...

20 years ago

From our annual summer visit to my father, I was introduced to the new environment which I now call home. Even though I was the class probinsyana that year, I showed them that I can be one of the best - I finished the year as one of the top students of my class.

15 years ago

I was a high school senior deciding if I really wanted to go into medicine. That early, I had already "contingency plans" ... I will take up Medical Technology because people said it is the best preparatory course for Medicine proper but if I decide not to continue to Medicine, I will still be working in a hospital along side doctors.

10 years ago

A struggling first year Medical student who got swamped with lots of books and photocopied notes hence became a permanent fixture of the school library especially
during examintations.

5 years ago

I passed my Medical Board Exams (after vacationing in Guam... hehehe!) but didn't go into residency immediately; instead, I worked at doctorGeorge.com

3 years ago

I was a second year Pediatric resident and became Pediatric interns' monitor for several months. My life was a routine - hospital- house to sleep & have a change of clothes - hospital. Broke up with bf but I don't want to talk about it anymore. ;-)

Last year

This time last year, i was chief resident of the Department of Pediatrics of our hospital and was caught in the middle of hospital politics.

This year

I started my practice early this year. I have said time and again that starting your practice is not easy but God has been so good to me. And although it will still be years till long lines could be seen in my clinics, I will be very patient because I know that God does provide.

Yesterday

We brought home my sister-in-law and her baby from the hospital hence I am now the nurse/doctor/tita rolled into one.

Last night

Bloghopped after injecting antibiotics to my niece. I opened my email inbox too and i received a whooping 105 emails (don't even know where to start reading).

Today

Clinic.... sleep.... babysit.... sleep.... sleep....

Tomorrow

I will be going to church in the morning then probably to the mall to buy gifts for the doctors who attended my niece's birth (they didn't ask for any professional fee hence the gift of appreciation). And then in the afternoon, I am expecting a 2 year old boy at the hospital for an operation on Monday so I will be going there to see him.

Next year

I am still thinking if I really want to go into subspecialty training because that would mean another 2 to 3 years of hospital duties.

Five - ten years from now

If things go well and with God's grace, by that time, my practice would have been well established with a growing business on the side. And... I would be getting ready for a trip to Europe. :-D

Two Births in Two Different Worlds

2005-08-26T23:28:00.000+08:00

At long last, my sister-in-law gave birth already after being in labor for 21 long hours to a baby girl last August 24, 2005 at 5:48 pm via normal delivery. Mother is doing well. My niece however is being given antibiotics because she has an infection but she is doing well, active and can already consume 2 ounces of milk. Things in our house will change from now on...

The blogosphere is also proud of its new citizen, pinoyatbp. This is a collaboration of several bloggers in 4 different countries - Darkblak, Isabela, Karen (the kolumnista), Ka Uro, Patrice (the mother of pinoyatbp), Teacher Sol, Robert (a well known writer) and yours truly. We have a community blog and a feature section where you can read about migrant life, featured bloggers, exceptional Pinoys, places to see and free recipes you can try. If you have any legal queries (Philippine Laws only), you can email our resident lawyer, Atty. Roland. I hope you can visit us soon!

Can't Leave Home Without It

2005-08-23T00:21:00.000+08:00

Mobile phones or cellular phones, as it is more popularly called here in the Philippines, has become a very important personal commodity. Almost all people of all ages and from all walks of life own a cellular phone. Latest statistics show that there are 1.52 B mobile phone users globally. Last 2003, there were more than 22M subscribers in the Philippines alone and is projected to increase to 35M by the end of 2005. For many, mobile phones are primarily used for sending text messages. In our country, each user sends > 6 SMS/day. People text to update each other about their lives, join game shows or vote for their favorite candidates for beauty contests, singing contests or personality contests. In the business sector, the mobile phone is used to negotiate contracts; telemarketers use it to promote and sell their products. Teenagers use their mobile phones to get a date, court prospective girl/boyfriends or as a means to plan outings with friends. For us in the medical field, nurses and residents text or call us to update us about our patients, relay laboratory exams or to inform us of hospital admissions. Some medical societies also use the mobile phone to inform their members of scheduled medical conferences. Patients sometimes text us too to relay laboratory exams and sometimes to consult us (I don't allow it however in my practice because nothing can beat a good history and physical examination in the treatment of patients).

I can still remember the very first time I used a mobile phone abroad. My father was an OFW and his company gave him a mobile phone so they can easily get in touch with him anytime need him. During the 80's, as soon as school was out, we would pack our bags and spend our summers with him and would just come back several days before school starts again leaving behind our house to some relatives. I remember once, a day after we arrived, my father brought out this huge box-like thing with a handset and told us to call my Lolo in Manila to tell him we arrived safely. With huge eyes, my brother and I took turns touching the box-like thing which turned out to be a mobile phone. Back then, it was still a novelty and very expensive hence wasn't very popular.

The very first mobile phone I owned was a graduation gift (medical school) from my brother. Yes, you read it right - my brother. He was already better at money matters than I was even then. Mine was the latest, smallest phone back then and I would proudly use it inside the intern's quarters to call home every so often. I don't know if it can send SMS but I doubt it because mobile phones weren't made yet with that capability and if ever it was, I am sure, the mobile phone companies back then didn't have that service yet. I bought my first SMS capable phone when I was already on residency training, it was a dark blue Nokia 5110. Since then, I had been though three other mobile phones. Those phones have seen me thru a lot of happy and not so happy times in my life. Although I don't hold on to it like a lifeline, it has become a very important part of my life. It's like something is missing if I don't have my phone inside my bag.

Mobile phones have since evolved into what it is now and for many of us, it has become a way of life. Even our neighborhood kutcheros can be seen texting while cruising along Sta. Cruz on top of their calesas and pick pockets have now learned a new trade - mobile phone snatching. Some people would even scrimp for food just so they will have enough money to have their phones loaded to be able to text their friends. Still some would postpone buying a much needed new school shoes for their kids so that they can buy the newest camera phone in the market. I am happy that Filipinos are becoming more and more tech savvy everyday as evidenced by the millions of mobile phone subscribers. There is nothing wrong in wanting to own the latest mobile phone but if you need to sacrifice some essential things just so you can afford it then it becomes a luho which we all can do without.

Pasensiya na po!

2005-08-21T00:10:00.000+08:00

Alam ko pong nitong mga nakaraang araw ay hindi ako isang mabuting mamamayan ng blogging world. Hindi kasi ako gaanong nakaka-ikot at nakakapagbasa ng mga isinusulat ng mga kaibigan ko. Higit sa lahat, hindi din ako madalas magsulat ngayon para dito sa blog ko kaya pasensiya na po.

Dalawang araw nang umuuwi ako dito sa bahay na masakit ang paa. Kailangan kasing maglakad-lakad ng hipag ko para lumabas na ang aking pamangkin. May trabaho ang kapatid ko kaya ako ang kasa-kasama niya. Mahilig din naman kasi nga akong mag-shopping pero hindi gaya ng ginagawa naming ngayon dahil talaga namang masakit sa paa. Pero para sa pamangkin ko, magtitiis ako. Kaya nga't eto, napabili ako ng sandalyas para kumportable sa paglalakad.

Bukas ulit...

Lucky 7

2005-08-16T21:29:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Honeypooh for tagging me! Here's the answer to my quiz:

Seven things that scare you:

1. losing any member of my family
2. snakes (aagghh! just typing the word gives me goosebumps!)
3. having an accident while on the wheel
4. losing the trust of people who matter most to me
5. dying alone
6. ipis (yuck!!)
7. be very late in an appointment

Seven things you like the most:

1. spending time w/ my family & friends (even if kwentuhan lang)
2. shopping
3. reading
4. blogging
5. sleeping
6. talking with someone who can make me laugh
7. playing with kids

Seven important things in your bedroom:

1. rosary
2. big bed w/ lots of pillows
3. laptop
4. TV
5. cd player & cds syempre
6. books
7. cellphone/phone

Seven random facts about you:

1. sweet
2. iyakin
3. can be very determined when i really want something
4. funny
5. nag-Eenglish kapag galit (hehehehe!)
6. loves Winnie the Pooh
7. hates chicken (i just don't like the taste except if its from KFC)

Seven things you plan to do before you die:

i don't even want to think about it. but i hope before i do, i have done everything i was sent here to do.

Seven things you can do:

1. drive (a little rusty w/ a stick-shift car though)
2. sing
3. play the piano (but haven't played in a long time na)
4. change a diaper
5. write something decent
6. clean my entire room and bathroom in a day
7. and recently, make a nice web page

Seven things you can't do:

1. draw
2. look at snakes!!
3. swim
4. do something out of this world
5. be friends with an ex (true pala ito! sana lang huwag niya ito mabasa)
6. betray a friend
7. turn my back on God

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex:

1. God fearing (and practices it)
2. sense of humor
3. smart (there are guys who are intelligent but not smart)
4. responsible/dependable
5. sweet
6. clean looking
7. expressive eyes

Seven things you say the most:

1. yasi (Chinese equivalent for nakakainis, tama ba KENJI?)
2. sh*t
3. grabe
4. my goodness
5. ano ba yan
6. papa/mama/roland/gia
7. hay naku

Seven celeb crushes (whether local or foreign):

1. ben affleck
2. park shin yang (korean actor)
3. ben affleck
4. ben affleck
5. ben affleck
6. ben affleck
7. at si ben affleck pa din!

Seven people you want to see to take this quiz:

i don't want to limit this to only seven people so anyone who would like to take the quiz may do so.

What I am feeling right now: EXCITEMENT, ANTICIPATION, NERVOUSNESS

2005-08-13T22:50:00.000+08:00

Ilang tulog na lang, makikita na namin ang pamangkin ko. Nasa 37th week na kasi ang sister-in-law ko sa kanyang pagbubuntis, kaya anytime now, maaari na siyang manganak. Inihanda na niya kanina ang gamit ng baby at pati na din gamit niya na dadalhin sa ospital kapag manganganak na siya baka kasi may makalimutan pa kung hindi pa aayusin ngayon. Sabi sa ultrasound niya, babae daw. Ngayon pa lang, nakikita ko nang magiging spoiled itong batang ito. Kasi naman, siya ang pinaka-una kong pamangkin at unang apo ng mga magulang ko. Hindi pa siya lumalabas, ang dami na niyang gamit! Mukha nga yatang nasobrahan kami ng bili ng mga damit, masyado kasi kaming natuwa sa mga maliliit at mga cute na t-shirts. Nung isang beses naman na napadaan ako ng mall, nakita ko yung Disney section, ang dami palang t-shirts, shorts, pajamas, bonnets, mittens at bibs na Winnie the Pooh! Kaya ayun, ang excited na tita, napabili na naman. Pinagalitan tuloy ako ng kapatid ko kasi nga naman, madaling malakihan ng mga baby ang kanilang mga damit kaya sayang lang. Ang dipensa ko naman, malalaking sizes ang kinuha ko para hindi malakihan agad.

Sa totoo lang, kinakabahan ako. Kahit pa sabihing sanay na sanay na ako sa mga bagong panganak na mga sanggol, iba pa din ang pakiramdam dahil pamangkin ko ito. Ang daming naglalaro sa aking isipan. Alam ko kasi na kahit pa regular ang check-up, kumpleto sa mga vitamins at walang naging problema sa pagbubuntis ang mommy, minsan nagkakaproblema pa din ang mga baby. Isama pa natin yung nabanggit ko na dati na "doctor syndrome". Palagay ko mawawala ang aking pagka-pediatrician sa baby girl namin. Baka paglabas niya, mataranta na lang ako at maging taga kuha na lamang ng mga litrato. Mabuti na lang at doon siya ipapanganak sa ospital kung saan ako nagsanay, sigurado kasing maaasahan ko yung mga doktor doon at alam kong hindi nila pababayaan ang pamangkin at sister-in-law ko.

Todo-todo ang pagdadasal namin na sana makaraos ng matiwasay sa kanyang panganganak ang asawa ng kapatid ko at sana malusog din ang sanggol na ipapanganak niya. Excited na talaga kami! Gusto nang makita ng kapatid ko kung sino ang kamukha niya, kung matangos ba ang kanyang ilong o kung maputi ba siya. Sabi ng tatay ko, tuturuan na niya agad ito ng Math para maging magaling daw siya dito paglaki niya (hindi ko namana ito sa tatay ko). Basta ako, makita ko lamang na may tig-sampung daliri ang kanyang paa't kamay, umiiyak siya ng malakas, mamula-mula ang kanyang balat, kakain at dudumi ng maayos at walang kahit na anong congenital anomaly, masayang-masaya na ako. Samahan ninyo akong magbantay ha?

Addendum to Open Letter to Goyong

2005-08-11T16:23:00.000+08:00

This is not an attempt to defend the doctor who handled Goyong's son and I am not saying too that there wasn't any negligence; maybe there was but I am not in the position to say that because I do not know the case and I wasn't there when it happenned. What I am saying here is just based on what MY REACTIONS are to the facts that I do know based on Goyong's posts in his blog and his comments.

As I mentioned, dengue is really a traitor. In a published study, it has been said that it "is among the most dramatic events in clinical medicine". This is because the course of the disease is just that - dramatic. A patient can be fine at this very minute then in a matter of 5 minutes, he can go into shock. There is no "de kahon" treatment for dengue, meaning, it is a case to case basis. When I was still on training, our mentors always reminded us to treat the patient not the laboratory exam results. You see, a patient can have a platelet count of 5,000 but if he is not bleeding and if his other vital signs and laboratory exams are okay, then there is no need for transfusion; while in some cases, a patient will be needing transfusion already with a platelet of 100 (which is actually still acceptable) because he is already bleeding and already have a low blood pressure for his age. So the treatment of one case will not be the same as the treatment for another case. Also, every doctor has his own "style" of treatment, a case can be treated differently by two doctors. To each his own kung baga. This is because one doctor may have seen something that the other doctor didn't OR one doctor maybe thinking of something that the other doctor is not thinking of. Our books will only teach us the principles of medicine but in real practice, what we learned from our books is very much different from what we see in our clinics everyday. That is why sometimes we do commit mistakes and that is also why medicine is an ever changing science.

To Sir Goyong, thank you for sharing your story with us. This will be a reminder for me to strengthen my commitment to give the best care to my patients. I just hope that one day soon, your memories of your son will be that of the happy times you had together not the bitter circumstances of his loss. God bless you and your whole family!

An Open Letter to Goyong

2005-08-11T01:48:00.000+08:00

I was bloghopping from Hooneypooh and while I was reading the comments on her post, I came upon this exchange between her and someone named Goyong. Apparently, Goyong posted something for his son who died. Through his comment, his pain touched my heart so I went to see his blog and got to read his story...

Goyong,

I am so sorry about your son. I don't have any kids but I feel your pain. Being a pediatrician, I have been exposed to lots of similar scenarios. When I was in training, we lost 2 dengue patients, a 15 year old boy and a 4 year old girl. As much as we want to save all of the little ones entrusted to our care, there are times when we just can't no matter how hard we try. Your son was not just another record to be pulled out permanently from our files, he is one little boy we will never see again gain another kilo or grow another inch and that gives us as much pain as you.

"...Imagine ang healthy ng bata kong iyan Linggo dalhin namin sa ospital ang lakas lakas laro pa nga ng laro 4 days inuwi namin........."

Dengue is really a traitor. There is a very thin line between recovery and deterioration; we can only sigh with relief after we have already sent the patient home because everything can happen so fast. Sometimes it is even out of our hands like when that is the second episode already of dengue because this episode will be worse than the one before. (there are four strains of dengue and one can get infected with the four so you can just imagine how hard it is to treat the fourth episode). I do not know what transpired in the hospital nor the circumstances behind your son's death, what I do know is that your doctor didn't want to loose or even intentionally lost him but we are not gods. We are only here as His instruments to try and save your son but in the end, it is still God's decision to make.

I know no matter what I say, I can never ease your pain but I hope I can help pave the way towards forgiveness. Wherever your son is now, I am sure he is smiling down on you. And if I was your son, I would not like to see you still harboring ill feelings towards my doctor for after all, I have wings now and is in a better place.

**This was supposed to be posted as a comment in Goyong's blog but I opted to make it as a post here since it is obviously very long.

Tara na, shopping tayo!

2005-08-07T14:49:00.000+08:00

Likas na yata sa halos lahat ng mga babae ang pagkahilig sa shopping. At isa ako sa mga iyon. Kapag nalulungkot ako, pumupunta lang ako sa aking friendly neighborhood mall at mag-iikot. Kahit na umuwi akong luhaan (dahil walang perang pambili ng kahit ano), okay lang sa akin. Masaya na akong makita yung mga bagong disenyo ng sapatos sa Celine o Le Donne, mga "in" na damit sa Mango, Bayo at Apple and Eve at mga sale o promo sa mga tindahan. Ang pag-shoshopping din ang paborito naming gawin ng mga kaibigan ko, kahit pa ang mabili lang namin ay isang munting palamuti sa buhok. Ngunit mahirap para sa amin na pagtugma-tugmain ang aming mga kalendaryo para kami ay makalabas ng sabay-sabay dahil magkaka-iba ang mga araw ng aming duty. Iyong mga kaibigan ko naman sa high school, may kanya-kanya ding mga trabaho at pamilya. Dahil dito, mas madalas na umaalis akong mag-isa.

Minsan maganda din namang mag-isa ka lang...

1. Ikaw lang ang mapapagod - baka kasi lahat ng sulok ng mall ay puntahan mo, kawawa naman yung mga kasama mo, pati sila magkaka-kalyo.

2. Makakapamili ka ng husto - hindi mo kasi kelangan magmadali kasi oras mo lang naman ang nasasayang.

3. Walang kokontra sa mga choices mo - kung lumabas man na baduy ang nabili mong damit, at least, ikaw lang ang masisisi.

4. Walang manggagatong sa iyo - madalas itong mangyari sa akin pero hindi ako ang ginagatungan, ako ang nanggagatong! may kaibigan kasi akong napakatagal mag-isip kung ano talaga ang gusto niya (read: kuripot! hehehehe!), minsan dahil sa panggagatong ko, napapabili tuloy siya.

5. Walang makikipag-agawan sa iyo - sa akin, hindi naman ito problema kasi mapagbigay naman ako kaya lang nakakapanghinayang kung gustong-gusto mo iyong isang sapatos tapos type din ng kaibigan mo at isang pares na lang ang size 6 nila.

6. Hindi ka maiinggit - dahil sa wakas ay napag-ipunan na ng kaibigan mo iyong gusto ninyong laptop at ikaw ay hindi pa.

7. Hindi ka maiinis - kasi ayaw makinig ng kaibigan mo sa iyo na mas maganda yung Canon IXUS 40 kesa sa gusto niyang digital camera. Hindi naman kasi dapat ito nangyayari kasi pera naman niya pinambibili niya kaya wala ka dapat pakialam.

8. Walang makakaalam na hindi umuubra ang pag-dadiet mo - hindi nila makikitang nagpakuha ka ng large sa saleslady kasi masikip na sa iyo yung medium.

9. Hindi ka manlilibre - dahil sa pinagod mo sila, dapat naman siguro manlibre ka pero kung mag-isa ka lang, sarili mo lang ang ililibre mo o di kaya naman, umuwi ka na lang at sa bahay kumain.

10. Hindi ka magiging dakilang driver - sa amin kasi, ako lang ang talagang laging may dalang sasakyan kaya minsan hindi maiiwasan yung lambinging kang ihatid mo sila pauwi. Salamat na lamang at mababait ang mga kaibigan ko, hindi nila ito madalas ginagawa.

Gusto ko pa din syempre yung may kasamang mag-ikot kasi bukod sa makakapag-shopping ka na, makakasagap ka pa ng mga tsismis. O ano, sino sasama sa akin mag-shopping?

"I don't want to own anything until I find a place where me and things go together "- from Breakfast At Tiffany's

2005-08-02T21:59:00.000+08:00

kay tagal ko nang nadidinig ng iyong pangalan
ngunit noo'y wala akong pakialam
akala ko kasi ordinaryo ka lamang.

una kitang nasilayan nang ako'y namasyal
may kaka-iba akong naramdaman!
lumukso ang aking puso at nagning-ning ang aking mga
mata.

pinagmamasdan pa lang kita,
sabik na sabik na akong hawakan ka!
balang araw, mapapasa-akin ka!

at ngayon nga'y eto ka na sa aking harapan,
hindi ko pa din lubos maisip na abot-kamay na kita!
ahhh... aking-akin ka na!

pero teka lang, bakit sila natatawa?
nawala ang aking mga ngiti,
kaya inialis kita sa kanilang paningin.

" Moon River, wider than a mile.
I'm crossing you in style someday..."

Haaay! Ang sarap talaga ng feeling kapag nakuha mo na yung matagal mo nang inaasam-asam. ang tagal ko din itong hinintay. At ngayon nga, meron na akong pink na iPod mini. Yipee!!! Kaya lang nung isang araw, hiniram ito ng kaibigan ko. Nagtaka ako kung bakit siya natawa nang isuuot niya iyong earplugs. Unang kanta kasi na nadinig niya ang Moon River. Lumang kanta na daw kasi yon. Bakit? Masarap naman pakinggan ang kanta kahit luma na siya. Ipikit mo lang ang iyong mga mata...

Pakiusap lang po

2005-08-01T23:34:00.000+08:00

Medyo matagal na din akong nagblo-blog pero kamakailan lang ako naging active talaga. Madami na din akong nakilala dito sa blogsphere, mula na isang blogger, humaba na nang humaba ang mga nakasulat sa links ko. Nitong mga nakaraang buwan, natutunan ko kung ano yung internet troll mula kay TeacherSol, ang pagiging matimpiin nina Isabela at Patrice at ngayon naman ay ang galit ng aking bagong kaibigang si Nao.

Kahit pa sabihin nating kakaibang mundo nga ang blogging, papasok pa din dito yung pakikipag-kapwa tao natin, iba-iba kasing tao ang makakasalamuha mo dito. Merong mga tunay na tao at mga troll o kaya ay yung mga tao na natamaan ng mga bato ni Nao. Ako man, bagamat hindi ko pa nararanasan mismo, nasasaktan at naiinis din ako sa ibang mga nababasa ko sa aking pagdalaw sa iba't-ibang mga blogs. Minsan kasi sa ating pag-kokomento, di natin naiisip na mayabang na pala ang dating natin o di kaya'y nakakasakit na pala tayo ng damdamin. Hindi ko naman sinasabing huwag na lang mag-komento, sana lang igalang natin ang opinyon ng isa't-isa. Kung ang nabasa mo man ay salungat sa iyong paniniwala, malaya ka namang mag-komento pero sana isaalang-alang din naman natin yung damdamin ng may akda o kaya'y nang iba pang magbabasa. Huwag din nating kalimutan na kung may kalayaan tayong isulat ang ating mga komento, may kalayaan din ang may-ari ng mga blog na pinupuntahan natin na magsulat ng kahit na anong gusto nilang isulat. Kung ayaw mo yung mga nabasa mo, huwag ka na lang mag-komento o kaya'y huwag ka na lang bumalik sa blog na yoon.

Sa "real world", naging prinsipyo ko na ang "huwag ka na lamang magsalita kung wala ka din namang sasabihing maganda" para makaiwas sa hindi pagkaka-intindihan. Dito sa blogging world, yan na din ang ginagamit kong prinsipyo. Kung meron man akong hindi nagustuhan sa mga komento sa akin o kaya'y sa mga nabasa ko, tumatahimik na lang ako. Pero hindi naman sa lahat ng oras na hindi ako mag-komento ay ibig sabihin hindi ako sang-ayon, minsan wala lang talaga akong masabi.

Dyaryo, dyaryo! Bili na kayo ng BANDERA!

2005-07-31T00:04:00.000+08:00

Ang kaibigan kong si KAREN ay isa nang ganap na kolumnista! Nasa Canada siya pero ang kanyang column ay mababasa nyo sa Bandera. Sana suportahan natin siya lalo na sa mga kaibigan ko dito sa Pilipinas.

Karen ganda, congratulations! More power to you! And yes, bibili ako. Sayang nga lang at na-miss ko yung debut mo. I-propromote din kita dito, pwamis!

Basahin niyo ang kwento dito

Bata, Bata, saan ka papunta?

2005-07-30T01:02:00.000+08:00

(Salamat kay Kaibigang ISABELA at na-stimulate na naman ang aking utak...)

Noong isang araw lang, habang naglalakad ako galing ng clinic, may nakasalubong akong limang bata, mukhang mga edad lima o anim na taon. Madudungis, yung isa walang saplot pambaba, pawang mga nakayapak at naghahabulan sa kahabaan ng isang mataong lugar sa Maynila. Sunod-sunod ang mga kotse, tricycle, pedicab at mga kalesang dumadaan. Naisip ko, ang lawak naman ng playground nila! Nasaan kaya ang mga magulang nila?

Natatakot ako sa pwedeng mangyari sa mga batang ito. Hindi ako magugulat kung isang araw, makita ko sila sa emergency room ng ospital, umiiyak dahil nabundol sila. Nalulungkot din ako para sa mga batang ito. Tama nga lang na sila ay maghabulan kasama ng mga kalaro, ngunit hindi tama na maglaro silang nanlilimahid sa kalye. Nalulungkot ako dahil alam kong ang maiiwang alaala ng kanilang kamusmusan ay ang alaalang ang kalye ang kanilang playground, ang mga taong nakakasalubong nila ay umiiwas dahil sa kadungisan nila, hindi sila naturuan kung paano magbilang at bumasa at hindi sila nakatikim ng pagkain sa Jollibee.

Hindi ko alam kung sino ang sisisihin sa puntong ito. Mabuti kung ang mga batang ito ay napapabayaan ng kanilang mga magulang dahil sila ay nasa kalye din at naglalako ng dyaryo o basahan o di kaya'y bumibyahe ng pedicab. Pero paano kung nasa bahay din lang sila, tulog at amoy alak? Sana hindi na lang sila nag-anak kung ganito din lang naman ang kahihinatnan ng mga batang ito. Sana kahit na nag-anak sila kung magsipag sila upang may maibigay sila sa mga pangangailangan ng mga anak nila. Sa isang banda, dapat ba ang gobyerno ang sisihin? Kung sana sa halip na mangurakot at bumili ng mga Pajero, Expidition o BMW ay nag-iisip na lamang sila ng mga programa upang mapabuti ang kalagayan ng bansa, mababawasan sana ang mga batang ganito.

Alam kong walang magagawa ang aking awa sa kanilang sitwasyon. Matulungan ko man sila sa aking munting paraan, hindi ko pa din sila kayang pakainin, bihisan at papag-aralin. Pero kaya kong mangarap, umasa at magdasal para sa kanila na balang araw, magbabago din ang lahat.

for my brother

2005-07-27T00:31:00.000+08:00

"Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be."
- Robert Browning

i don't really remember much about how things were when you came along. but mama said i was so excited to see you. i just had my 1st birthday and i couldn't even reach mama's hospital bed. smart that i was , i pulled the footstool towards the bed, stepped on it and craned my neck just to have a glimpse of you. little did i know that when you were old enough to play with me, we would end up fighting almost every two minutes. i remember mama used to call us "aso't pusa". its funny though, whenever we were together, there would be boxing/hair pulling matches (maybe that is why i didn't grow my hair past my shoulders) but once one of us disappears from view, we ask mama where the other one is. i know you haven't forgotten the time you got spanked because i told papa you went swimming in the flood water but i hope you know by now that it was for your own good.

as we got older, the fights became less frequent. we always sticked together during some of our "escapades". you were not a sweet little brother but you were always ready to help me. you went thru the usual teenage phase and preferred to be with friends but in your own way, you were always there for me.

i know you sometimes think that i am the pampered one, and i admit that this is true sometimes but you never took that against me. i know you suffered more than i did when we were at the lowest point of our family life and although sometimes you complained about it, you always did what you were expected to do. when we recovered from it, we all became closer to each other. rejoicing together in every triumph and cheering each other up in every failure.

more than two years ago, you went thru a lot. i didn't agree with most of the things you did but i understod why you did it. i knew i would get in trouble if i was found out but there was no way i wasn't going to help you out. it was breaking my heart to see what you were going thru but i couldn't do anything because it was your choice. through it all, you still emerged victorious. i admire you for that. you showed us that you are one strong, determined young man.

in a few weeks, you will be starting another chapter of your life. i know you're going to be a wonderful father. seldom will you see a soon-to-be father as excited and as involved as you are in the preparations. your baby is lucky indeed to have you. i know your kids will grow up to be responsible and God fearing adults because you are their model.

we still have our arguments from time to time but i know in my heart that whatever happens, we will always be there for each other. i just wish that when i am old and gray, you will still be there to hold my hand and comfort me.

happy birthday lan! i love you and i am very proud of you!

my NOT SO secret friend

2005-07-25T23:33:00.000+08:00

i am bored,
i am nostalgic
can you help my restless soul?

i am weary
i am sad
can you help my restless soul?

you make me laugh,
you make me cry,
you make me wonder why.

i didn't search for you, my friend
you came unexpectedly
and soothed my restless soul.

you know sometimes how you just want to get out of the situation you are in? you want a change of scenery but you cannot afford to because you have responsibilities. and then comes someone who has problems of his own willing to talk you out of your current mood. no malice, no strings attached. you just want someone you can talk to without pretending to be another person, someone who will not judge you when you say something he doesn't agree to.

i found that person in you! here's hoping we can be each other's cushion everytime we stumble. thanks b!

an angel by our side

2005-07-23T23:13:00.000+08:00

earlier today, i had the scariest time of my life and just thinking about it still makes me shudder. my brother and i only get to really spend time w/ each other during weekends. so even before he got married, it was an unwritten rule for us to hang out w/ each other during weekends. a trip to the mall, an occasional movie and now that my sister-in-law is expecting, a trip to her obstetrician.

we left the house before 9 am to make it to the doctor's appointment at 10 am. we even had baon to eat inside the car on the way to the hospital. everything went smoothly and we excitedly went home with the knowledge that we will be seeing baby tricia (as we fondly call the baby) in about 4 weeks time (with God's grace). we were excitedly chattering about our elementary days ala "ah wala kayo sa lolo ko..." and who would baby tricia look like when there was a sudden screech of brakes and i was thrown forward from the backseat as we were about to cross a major intersection.

a west-bound 6 wheeler truck, whose driver i think may not have been paying so much attention to the road (because he may have been playing around w/ his buddies) was coming to us very fast while cars on the opposite lane were slowly crossing the same intersection. just at the nick of time, the truck driver braked. the truck narrowly missed the other car and our pick-up truck. if he saw us a minute later or if his brakes malfunctioned, all four of us including baby tricia and the other occupants of the other car may have been knocking on heaven's door (i hope its heaven) by now. it was like slow motion, my brother saw the truck coming but there was no way out since cars were everywhere. later he said, he was just waiting for the impact. the driver didn't even look like he was sorry for the near accident because he was laughing when my brother reprimanded him.

when we got home, i asked my parents to hug us then recounted the incident to them. my father was so mad, he said he would kill the driver if something happenned to all of us. perhaps in our gratefulness that nothing happenned, we didn't even remember to get the truck's plate number so that we can report the driver to the proper authorities for reckless driving.

thank God our angels were intently watching over us...

sandali lang...

2005-07-22T23:10:00.000+08:00

THE HIPPOCRATIC OATH

I swear by Apollo Physician and Asclepius and Hygieia and Panaceia and all the gods and goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will fulfil according to my ability and judgment this oath and this covenant:

To hold him who has taught me this art as equal to my parents and to live my life in partnership with him, and if he is in need of money to give him a share of mine, and to regard his offspring as equal to my brothers in male lineage and to teach them this art - if they desire to learn it - without fee and covenant; to give a share of precepts and oral instruction and all the other learning to my sons and to the sons of him who has instructed me and to pupils who have signed the covenant and have taken an oath according to the medical law, but no one else.

I will apply dietetic measures for the benefit of the sick according to my ability and judgment; I will keep them from harm and injustice.

I will neither give a deadly drug to anybody who asked for it, nor will I make a suggestion to this effect. Similarly I will not give to a woman an abortive remedy. In purity and holiness I will guard my life and my art.

I will not use the knife, not even on sufferers from stone, but will withdraw in favor of such men as are engaged in this work.

Whatever houses I may visit, I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons, be they free or slaves.

What I may see or hear in the course of the treatment or even outside of the treatment in regard to the life of men, which on no account one must spread abroad, I will keep to myself, holding such things shameful to be spoken about.

If I fulfill this oath and do not violate it, may it be granted to me to enjoy life and art, being honored with fame among all men for all time to come; if I transgress it and swear falsely, may the opposite of all this be my lot.

oo nga't sumumpa ako na gagawin ko ang lahat ng aking makakaya upang gamutin ang mga maysakit at gagawa ng paraan upang maiwasan ang kanilang pagkakasakit pero hindi kasama sa sinumpaan ko na lahat ng oras ko ay ilalaan ko sa kanila. kailangan ko din naman kumain at bigyan ng oras ang aking sarili at ang aking pamilya. oo nga't doktor ako pero gaya nila, tao din ako. katulad nila, mayroon din akong mga pangangailangan, mga pangarap at higit sa lahat, mayroon din akong damdamin. nagugutom , nagkakasakit at nangangailangan din naman ako ng pahinga.

mayroon kaming itinalagang oras kung kelan kami nasa klinik. kadalasan, hindi bumababa sa isang oras ang aming mga clinic hours at iyon ay ipinapaalam namin sa mga pasyente at kamag-anak ng mga pasyente. kaya naman kung may dumadating kung kelan lagpas na sa itinalaga naming oras, hindi namin maiwasan ang mainis. lalong-lalo na kung tatawagan nila kami upang huwag munang umalis sa klinik at antayin silang dumating dahil kakagising lamang ni baby. ang sa akin lamang, pwede namang dalhin si baby sa doktor kahit siya ay tulog. nagbibigay din naman kami ng konsiderasyon lalo na kung ito ay emergency pero kung ang appointment naman ay matagal nang itinakda ng inyong doktor, sana naman dumating kayo sa tamang oras.

alam ko namang kung hindi dahil sa mga pasyente ay wala din naman akong ipambibili ng pagkain kung ako'y nagugutom. mahalaga sa akin ang aking mga pasyente at tunay namang inaalagaan ko silang mabuti. ngunit sana naman, maunawaan din nila na hindi sa lahat ng panahon ay nandiyan ako.

doktor ang anak ko

2005-07-21T02:15:00.000+08:00

OB: mister, mukhang kelangan nating mag caesarean section kay misis doctor. ayaw bumaba ni baby eh tapos medyo bumabagal ang heartbeat ng baby saka mukhang nakadumi na siya sa loob ng tiyan ni misis doctor.
MISTER: bakit po nagkaganon?
OB: minsan talaga, nangyayari na yan. wala naman tayong ibang problema. hindi naman malaki yung baby according sa ultrasound ni misis doctor.
MISTER: sige po. kung ano po ang mabuting gawin, gawin na lang po.

PEDIA: mommy, tita doctor, may ear infection si J. bibigyan ko siya ng antibiotic, kelangan inumin niya ito ng 10 days.
MOMMY & TITA: ok po. salamat po.

After 10 days...

MOMMY: doktor, parang may ear discharge pa rin ang anak ko.
PEDIA: (pagkatapos eksaminin si J) meron pa din nga. baka resistant sa antibiotic natin yung organism sa ear ni J. palitan natin ha, for severe ear infection na ito. ibalik mo siya sa akin after 5 days, check ko ulit siya. pero gusto kong mag-request ng ear discharge culture. punta kayo sa laboratory at ipagawa mo ito. (sabay bigay ng request)

After 5 days...

PEDIA: mommy, iyong ear discharge culture ni J may tumubo. kaya pala naka-dalawang klase ng antibiotic na tayo, ayaw gumaling kasi resistant yung organismo sa lahat ng mga oral antibiotics. kailangan i-inject yung antibiotic.
TITA DOCTOR: ano ba yan, bakit naman puro resistant sa antibiotic yang alaga mo J.
MOMMY: (halik kay J) kawawa naman ang anak ko...
TITA DOCTOR: ganyan talaga, wala tayong magagawa.

Sa loob ng operating room...

SURGEON: okay na ba? pwede na ba akong mag-umpisa?
ANESTHESIOLOGIST: sir, subukan mo nga itaas itong mga paa mo.
DADDY: (itinaas ang dalawang paa)
ANESTHESIOLOGIST: sige, magbibigay pa ulit ako ng gamot sir ha. (inihanda ang
pasyente at nagbigay ng gamot)
DADDY: (hindi umiimik)

After 15 minutes...

ANESTHESIOLOGIST: subukan nga po ninyo ulit itaas ang mga paa ninyo.
DADDY: (itinaas ang paa)
DOCTOR SON: daddy, ayaw tumalab ng anesthesia sa iyo ah.
ANESTHESIOLOGIST: oo nga eh, maximum dose na naibigay ko. bibigyan ko na lang din siya ng pampatulog, closely monitor na lang natin si daddy.

ilan lang ito sa mga nangyayari sa klinika ng mga doktor. minsan, nakakadala manggamot ng mga kapwa doktor o kamag-anak ng mga doktor. kadalasan kasi, nagkaka-problema. ito yung tinatawag naming doctor syndrome o extension syndrome. yun bang, kahit pagbigay na lamang ng laboratoryo ng resulta sa mga eksaming ipinagawa mo, nagkakamali pa. o kaya minsan yung lahat ng pwedeng mangyaring kapalpakan sa isang pasyente ay nangyayari. minsan naman, yung mga hindi mo inaasahan na mangyari, nangyayari at hindi mo alam kung bakit tapos wala ka talagang makitang posibleng dahilan. siyempre nga naman, kung alam mong may kamag-anak na doktor yung pasyente mo, gusto mo magamot mo agad ang pasyente. kaya lang sa hindi namin malamang kadahilanan, pati yata mga bituin sa langit ay kumokontra at wala kang magawa kundi umiling na lamang. kahit na sino ang tanungin ko, hindi ako mabigyan ng paliwanag. ang mahirap pa nito, paano mo ipapaliwanag sa pasyente o di kaya'y sa ibang kamag-anak ng pasyente kung bakit nagkakaganoon? baka isipin pa nila, malas kang doktor!

kung kayo ay doktor, may magulang na doktor, anak na doktor o basta kamag-anak ng doktor, minsan kahit kaibigan lang ng doktor; marahil naranasan na ninyo ito.

drama club

2005-07-19T00:18:00.000+08:00

tapos ko nang basahin ang harry potter and the half-blood prince. 652 pages iyong libro at tinapos ko siyang basahin ng halos dalawang araw lang, hindi ko kasi maibaba ang libro. sa anim na harry potter na libro, ito ang pinaka-gusto ko. kasi dito sa librong ito, may action, drama, love story at may comedy din (depende kung mababaw ang kaligayahan ninyo gaya ko). huwag kayong mag-alala, hindi ko ikukwento kung ano ang nangyari. meron lang akong napatunayan sa aking sarili.

certified drama princess nga ako! kasi naman, maski sa harry potter, umiyak ako. ewan, basta bigla ko na lang naramdaman na nangingilid na ang luha ko. at habang patuloy ang kwento, umiyak na ako ng tuluyan. siguro kasi alam ko kung ano ang pakiramdam ng nawalan. o kung gusto mo ng mas sosyal na sagot, i guess i'm just in touch with my emotions. ah basta, iyakin talaga ako, yun lang yon.

bakit nga ba may mga taong iyakin? meron akong kaibigan, maski kay kris aquino, naiiyak. pero in fairness kay kris, minsan nga naman below the belt na talaga ang mga tira sa kanya. teka, ibang usapan na yata yan. meron naman akong kakilala, umiiyak na lahat ng nasa paligid niya, dead ma pa rin. naisip ko, yung mga taong madaling umiyak madali din kayang tumawa? mas masaya kaya sila kesa sa mga taong bato?

quiz #2

2005-07-17T21:31:00.000+08:00

TEACHERSOL gave me another quiz yesterday...

WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ENJOY EVEN WHEN NO ONE AROUND YOU WANT TO GO OUT AND PLAY?

i would really enjoy walking along the beach but since i am living in the city, that would be hard for me to do. i guess it would be walking in a mall. i love shopping and window shopping! most of the time though, i end up buying something even as simple as a Php 50 toy for my clinic.

WHAT LOWERS YOUR STRESS/BLOOD PRESSURE/ANXIETY LEVEL? MAKE A LIST, POST IT IN YOUR JOURNAL.

aside from shopping (which is my ultimate anti-depressant), i love...

1.) blogging - i find this very relaxing. its like i am transported into a different world. it helps me to express my happiness/sadness/excitement. i also get to interact w/ my blogger friends.

2.) being w/ my family - i'm very close to my family. we do have disagreements every now and then but i wouldn't trade my family w/ anyone else's.

3.) talking and being w/ my friends - although i value my time alone, i also love sharing stories, jokes and life experiences w/ friends.

4.) reading - this is what you will find me doing inside my room before i got addicted to blogging. i love reading novels (mostly romantic novels but i do read other kinds of books too). inside my room, you can find one wall with a bookshelf full of books.

5.) listening to music and singing along w/ it - yan ang isa ko pang secret wish - be a singer. :-D kaya nga i so love my new baby (as you can see on my wish list, crossed out na yung iPod mini :-D) kasi i can bring my music now anywhere i go.

6.) playing w/ kids - siguro nga kaya ako nag-pedia because i love kids (except syempre yung mga super kulit at pasaway na mga bata).

7.) sleeping - when i feel bad, i sleep it off!

TAG 5 FRIENDS AND ASK THEM TO POST IT IN THEIRS.

tintin
pradamama
jaleesa
roland
joebert

i hope you all have time for this. thanks!

ang kulani part 2

2005-07-17T00:01:00.000+08:00

alas-singko pa lang, halos ma-maos na ako! fifteen hours pa bago matapos ang duty ko. sa emergency room naman ako ngayon na-assign, mag-iisang daan na yatang pasyente ang kumunsulta sa akin ngayong araw na ito. pero ayos na din yon kasi wala namang kakaibang nangyari pa. yung ka-grupo ko na duty kahapon, dinatnan ng isang batang may sakit sa puso na hingal. nung duty naman ni partner jo sa ER, may dumating namang bata na nagsuka ng maraming b****e! yuck!

kanina, may dumating na batang lalaki na kay dungis kasama ng nanay. payat at ubo ng ubo, pitong taon na siya pero mukha siyang limang taon lamang. pagkatapos kong interbyuhin ang nanay, kina-usap ko ang bata, nagpaalam ako na iiksaminin ko siya. tingin sa mata, silip sa ilong at bibig, hipo sa leeg. hmmm... ang daming dikit-dikit na kulani! suot ng stethoscope, kinig sa kaliwang bahagi ng dibdib tapos sa likod naman. naku, ang daming tunog nilulukot na papel sa likod ng batang yon! ibig sabihin, madaming plema at may pulmonya na ang bata.

"nanay, madalas ba mag-ubo't sipon itong si junior?" tanong ko.

"naku, doktora halos hindi po nawawalan ng ubo!" sagot ni nanay.

haaay... mukhang isa na namang biktima ng primary complex (tawag namin sa TB ng bata). dito sa pilipinas, hindi na kataka-taka kung magkaron man ng TB ang mga anak natin kasi laganap talaga ang TB dito. pero tiyak, nahawa sa isang matandang may TB si junior kasi hindi naman nakakahawa ang isang batang may primary complex kaya siguradong hindi sa kalaro galing yung sakit. kailangan ng anim na buwang gamutan ito pero para makatiyak, binigyan ko ng request para sa chest x-ray si nanay at sinabihang bumalik kapag may x-ray sila. muntik ko pang makalimutang ibigay yung resetang gamot ni junior kasi naman yung isang bagong dating na nanay nangungulit na tignan ko na daw yung nagsusuka niyang anak.

pagkalipas ng dalawa't kalahating oras, halos nagtatatakbo na ako papuntang canteen kasi magsasara na sila, hindi pa ako kumakain. mabuti na lang at mabait yung ka-duty kong nurse sa ER, naalala na hindi pa pala ako kumakain simula nang sumubo ako ng sandwich kaninang tanghali. may kumalabit sa akin mula sa likuran, aba! si nanay at si junior!

tanong ni nanay, "doktora, saan ho ba ang ekstray dito?"

"ha? ano po yun?"

"saan po ba ang ekstray dito? gusto ko na po kasing ipa-ekstray (sabay tingin sa binigay kong request) si junior kasi bubugbugin ako ng tatay nito kapag di ko pa pinaekstray."

sabi ko, "ahhh... x-ray po!"

ngek! akala ko naman kung ano yung tanong ni nanay! sorry na lang siya, di ko din alam kung saan kasi ikalawang araw ko pa lang dito sa ospital.

shameless plugging po!

2005-07-16T02:09:00.000+08:00

syempre, umandar na naman ang aking pagiging stage ate! nahawa ko yata ang kapatid ko sa aking pagiging blog addict kaya eto at may sarili na din siyang
blog.

sana hop din kayo sa kanya! thanks!

hanggang sa muli!

2005-07-16T01:20:00.000+08:00

kaibigan, ma-mimiss ko...

ang iyong mga kwentong punong-puno ng kabuluhan

ang iyong pagpapatawa, joker pero may gustong iparating

ang iyong mga komentaryo, nakakapagbigay ka ng ibang
anggulo sa bawat isinusulat mo

ngunit umaasa ako na ito'y panandalian lamang dahil hindi na magiging katulad ng dati itong kakaibang mundong ginagalawan natin kapag ikaw ay nawala.

unang talata pa lang ng iyong post, nalungkot na ako kaibigang ISABELA. nabigla ako sa iyong pag-papaalam. kung kelan gumaganda ang ating pagkakaibigan, saka ka naman magpapaalam. pero naiintindihan kita. kakaunti lamang ang mga katulad mo na consistent sa kanilang mga pagsusulat at pag-cocomment, iyon ang isa ko pang ma-mimiss sa iyo.

kung meron kang visitor tracker sa blog mo, makikita mong dumalaw na ako dati sa iyo bago pa kita nakilala sa blog nina patrice at teachersol. nakita ko kasi yung banner mo sa pinoyblogger. naalala ko nung una akong dumaan, hindi ako nagtagal kasi akala ko mga kwento lang tungkol sa pag-ibig ninyo ng iyong si S ang mababasa ko doon. at kung magiging matapat ako sa sarili ko, aaminin kong naintimidate ako noong bumalik ulit ako sa blog mo kasi mukhang mahirap kang abutin. mali pala ako! oo, kwento nga ng pag-ibig ang nabasa ko ngunit hindi lamang kay S kundi sa pilipinas, sa iyong pamilya at iyong mga kaibigan. bukod doon, maraming katotohanan tungkol sa buhay ang nabasa ko na minsan ay ayaw nating aminin. at lalong maling-mali ako sa pag-aakalang mahirap kang abutin dahil isa ka sa mga bloggers na unang yumakap sa akin. katulad ng ibang blog na madalas kong puntahan, madami akong natutunan sa pagbabasa ng blog mo. malalim ka kasi mag-isip at may kakaibang istilo ng pagsusulat. sayang, kung sana noong una kitang dinaanan ay nagtagal ako ng kahit limang minuto pa, sana nakilala na kita noon pa. pero natutuwa ako at kahit sa maikling panahon ng ating pagkakakilala ay itinuring mo akong isang tunay na kaibigan.

maraming salamat isabela sa lahat ng sinabi mo sa akin doon sa post mo at pati na din sa mga comments mo. nakakataba ng puso! mas pagbubutihin ko ang pag-aalaga ng mga bata na makikita ko sa aking clinic para hindi kita mabigo.

sana paminsan-minsan ay dadalawin mo pa din ako. good luck sa iyo at hihintayin ko ang iyong pagbabalik i will not say goodbye my friend, but say till next time! God bless!

p.s.
sino ba kasi yang boss mo na yan? ipakilala mo
nga sa akin at nang mabatukan! :-D

breast cancer

2005-07-12T20:53:00.000+08:00

a very good friend's sister has been diagnosed a few days ago with metastasis to the brain, bone, lungs and lymph nodes. she is only in her early 20's, had the whole affected breast removed and just completed her chemotheraphy last year. she had whole life ahead of her. if only she paid more attention to the numbness on her right arm, if only she went to her doctor regularly, not when she had difficulty breathing already, if only she had an x-ray done. i know there are a lot of if onlys in her mind right now. but i know if there are people are berrating themselves of these if onlys, it would be her 2 doctor sisters. they knew they had a very strong family history of cancer but they overlooked this. maybe because the didn't expect it to happen to someone so young. it pains me to see my once lively friend turn into a constantly red-eyed person. i haven't seen her yet since her sister's last visit to the oncologist but i was told that the prognosis is not good. i don't know yet how her family and her sister reacted to the bad news or what they want to do next. my heart goes out to them.

being a doctor, i have been exposed to different scenarios like this. a friend once asked me, "you must be so used to seeing people die, do you still feel anything?". i am just human, yes, i feel sad too. infront of our patients' relatives we have to maintain a front, what they do not know is that we too feel their pain.

no matter how hard we try, it is only God who can decide when we have to go. we do not have full control of our lives because we do not own it. it is easy to say, don't worry, she's in a better place now where there is no pain. but who can fill the void left behind by a loved one? who can fill the empty space on the bed? in the closet? the chair?

if you want to know more about breast cancer, please visit the breastcancer.org website

please join

2005-07-12T18:08:00.000+08:00

to all pinoy/pinay teachers out there who would like to network with each other, please join pinoy teachers network.

to know more about the group, click here or you can visit their website.

thanks! God bless us!

ang kulani

2005-07-11T21:11:00.000+08:00

"oh my gosh nikki! kadiri talaga sa ward! sana hindi ka mag-rotate ng pedia doon!"

ito ang sabi ng sosyal kong kaibigan sa akin noong nagkita kami. hmp! lahat naman sa kanya kadiri eh. palibhasa nakatira dun sa village sa likod ng ayala heights kaya ayun, nahawa sa kasosyalan ng mga tao doon.

respirator/ventilator

hindi ako madiriing tao, medical technology nga ang pre-med course ko kaya sanay na ako sa mga kalunos-lunos na bagay. pero mukhang magbabago ang isip ko kasi pagpasok ko pa lang doon, napabuntong hininga na ako. kaya lang naisip ko, kailangan ko itong experience ko dito kaya dapat magtiis ako. pumunta kami ng mga kasama ko sa opisina ng pediatric department at doon kami ay kinausap ng chief resident, ipinaliwanag kung ano ang mga dapat naming gawin at kung saan kami ipapadala. una akong pinag-duty sa nursery...

suot ang amoy downy kong scrub suit, pumasok ako sa pinto ng nursery, sumilip sa glass na bintana habang naghuhugas ng kamay (kelangan ito para ma-disinfect ang aking kamay kasi hahawak ako ng mga bulilit), grabe sa dami ng baby! ito yung mga ilang oras pa lang naipapanganak kaya wala pa sila sa tabi ng mga nanay nila.

nagkakagulo sila, tumatakbo yung isang nurse saka isang nursing aide. ahhh, may premature na baby na kakapanganak pa lang. teka lang, may plastic na tubo sa bibig ng baby at may pinipisil na parang isang transparent na bola ng football yung isang nurse para tulungan huminga yung baby. ang bait naman nung nurse na yon at ngumiti agad sa akin!

ha? ako ba ang tinatawag nung duktor? kaya pala ang sarap ng ngiti ng loka-lokang yon, ako pala ang salvation nya! ako pala ang papalit sa kanya sa pagpisil ng ambubag (tawag dun sa mala-bola ng football). nagkakulani na yata ang kili-kili ko at mukha na akong drug addict na dinaanan ng pison sa kakapisil ng bwisit na ambubag na yon ng dire-diretsong dalawampu't apat na oras! kasi naman, government hospital ito kaya wala silang mga respirator para sana maikabit doon ang bata. pasensya na lang ako, ako ang duty kaya ako na muna ang naging human respirator. at take note, wala iyong kainan ha. mga hinayupak na nurses talaga yon! ni hindi man lang naisip na pakainin ako! hindi ba nila alam na kahit alipin nila ako doon sa loob ng nursery, tao pa din akong nagugutom. grrr!

mayaya na nga lang muna si partner jo sa megamall, kakain muna ako bago umuwi. ano naman kaya ang naghihintay sa akin bukas?

baby sitting paraphernalia

2005-07-09T11:58:00.000+08:00

napagod ako kanina! galing kasi kami sa mall ng kapatid ko at ni g, ang aking sister-in-law, namili kami ng iba pang mga gamit ni baby T. nakakatuwang mamili ng mga miniature t-shirts at shorts! at dahil sa sabi nga ng ultrasound, babae ang aking pamangkin, syempre karamihan ng mga pinamili namin ay mga kulay pambabae pero meron din namang mga puting t-shirts. halatang-halata na excited kasi sumobra yata ang napamili namin. nakabili na kasi kami konting damit, baby bottles at kung ano-ano pang gamit noong april pa. nakakatawa kasi takang-taka ang papa ko kung ano yung ibang mga pinag-bibibili namin at halos bawat gamit na ilabas namin mula sa supot/kahon, may comment siya...

1. stackable milk container - ito yung bilog na patong-patong na plastic na pinaglalagyan ng mga nanay ng kung ilang scoops ng milk powder ang kailangan sa pagtimpla ng gatas ni baby at ibubuhos na lamang ang laman nito sa feeding bottle kapag nagugutom na si baby. karaniwan itong ginagamit kapag umaalis sina mommy at daddy kasama si baby.
sabi ni papa: napalaki naman namin kayong dalawa ng walang ganyan noon. dati, dala-dala lang ang lata ng gatas kasama ng scooper sa loob ng diaper bag tapos bubuksan na lang ang lata kapag magtitimpla na ng gatas.
sabi namin: para nga po hindi na kelangang dalhin pa ang lata ng gatas saka para maiwasan na may tumapong milk powder kapag nagtimpla ka.

2. diaper: - hindi naman nagtaka dito si papa kasi naman meron na nito noong ipinanganak kami (yikes!)
sabi ni papa: hindi kayo nasanay niyan noong baby pa kayo, talagang lampin para hindi mag-rashes
sabi namin: tama po yun pero mas convenient kasi yung diaper. kelangan lang talaga, palitan agad ang diaper kapag basa na ito para hindi mag-rashes si baby.

3. bath tub guard: - madaming klase ito, may parang net na ikinakabit lamang sa bath tub ni baby o isang padded plastic/bakal na mukhang lounge chair (yung pang-sunbathing ba) na inilalagay sa loob ng bath tub kung saan ipinapatong si baby kapag siya ay pinapaliguan para hindi na kailangang hawakan pa.
sabi ni papa: ha? bakit noong bata kayo, wala namang ganyan? dati, nakahiga lamang kayo sa isang kamay habang ang isang kamay naman ay sinasabon kayo at pagkatapos ay bubuhusan paunti-unti ng tubig. walang interaction sa pagitan ng baby at magulang kung meron niyang guard na yan.
sabi namin: eh kasi pa, baka madulas si baby sa pagkakahawak tapos mahulog siya sa loob ng tub kaya inilalagay ito. hindi naman mawawalan ng interaction, mas magkakaroon nga ng interaction kasi dalawang kamay na ang pwedeng humawak at humaplos kay baby habang pinapaliguan siya.

4. graco crib na may built in music, light, electronic vibrator at mobile - self-explanatory na yung music, light at mobile. yung shaker naman, iyon ay modern version ng duyan. :-)
sabi ni papa: grabe naman ito, ang daming arte. kayo ang crib nyo lang noon ay kahoy na natutupi yung isang side. may ilaw naman sa kwarto at pwede namang maglagay ng player sa malapit sa crib kung gustong pakinigin ng music si baby T. pangit ding sanayin sa duyan si baby.
sabi namin: para po mas convenient kung built in na sa crib yung mga iyon.

5. unan: - alam din ito syempre ni papa...
sabi ni papa: hindi pwedeng mag-unan ang baby! magiging flat sa likod.
sabi namin: hindi pwedeng walang unan kapag nag-fifeed ang baby kasi baka masamid, mapunta pa sa baga yung gatas.
sabi ni papa: hindi pwedeng milk formula ang i-feed kay baby T hanggat wala siyang isang taon! dapat gatas ng ina.
sabi namin: ok po, fine!
*** sabi ko: oo nga naman, breastmilk is still best for babies. pero studies have shown that babies who have been breastfed at least 6 months already benefit from the protective effects of breastmilk. kaya g, 6 months lang pwede na. dapat din natin kasing isaalang-alang na mahirap ding mag-breast feed kasi minsan wala talagang milk na lumalabas at napaka-hirap nito para sa isang ina na alam na the best pa din ang breastmilk. minsan, ito pa ang nagiging cause ng post-partum depression (pero ibang usapan na ito).

6. baby bubble - ito yung one piece suit na may mga butones o snaps sa may bandang diaper area
sabi ni papa: pangit ang mga one-piece suit kasi mahirap hubarin sa baby.
sabi namin: pa, may butones po ito sa ilalim para madaling magpalit ng diaper saka para madaling hubarin.

7. sari-saring mga plastic na lalagyan at tray
sabi ni papa: para naman saan ang mga ito?
sabi namin: lalagyan po iyan ng mga basa at tuyong bulak at iba pang mga gamit ni baby T para hindi kalat-kalat.

haaayyy... ang dami na ngang pagbabago. tama nga naman si papa, dalawa nga naman ang napalaki nila ni mama ng maayos nang wala ang mga gamit na ito. kung iisipin natin, hindi naman talaga para kay baby itong mga ito, para ito sa mga nag-aalaga kay baby, para mas madali at hindi kumplikado. sana lang, kahit na maging mas high tech na ang pag-aalaga ng mga baby ngayon, sana mapalaki din namin ang aking pamangkin na maging isang mabait at responsableng tao gaya ng pagpapalaki nina mama at papa sa amin.

tawanan mo ang iyong problema

2005-07-08T22:20:00.000+08:00

mas magulo na naman dito sa pilipinas. sigurado ako, karamihan sa mga pilipino ngayon ay nakatutok sa kani-kanilang mga tv at radyo para sa mga latest na kaganapan. kanina, isa ako sa mga taong yon, pero ayoko na. naiinis lang ako sa mga palitan ng kung sino-sinong mga pulitiko. umiinit ang ulo ko sa mga insensitivities nila. yung isa, nang hingan siya ng reaksyon tungkol sa pahayag ni ex president cory aquino, sumagot siya na dapat daw natin intindihin si cory dahil babae sya at "she can change her mind". anong ibig niyang sabihin? kasi noong isang linggo lamang, ang hinihingi ni cory ay huminahon tayo tapos ngayon pinapag-bitiw na niya si gma? hindi naman yata tama na sabihin niya iyon. ibig sabihin si senate president drilon ay isang babae din kasi he also changed his mind (noong isang linggo kasi sinabi pa niya na kahit ilipat pa sa iloilo ang palasyo kasi suportado naman si gma ng mga ilonggo tapos ngayon, hinihingi niya na mag-resign na si presidente). madami pa dyan na mga prominenteng mga politiko na pabago-bago ng isip. ibig bang sabihin non, mga babae din sila? ang sabihin mo, hindi lang talaga sila mga tunay na lalaki dahil hindi nila kayang pangatawanan ang kanilang mga prinsipyo.

alam kong madalas ngang magbago ang isip ng mga babae pero hindi naman dapat gawing puntos yon laban sa atin. tayong mga babae kasi, mas emosyonal kesa sa mga lalaki kaya minsan nakakapag-desisyon tayo o nakakapagbitiw ng mga salita in the heat of the moment. pero pagkatapos mapag-isipan ng mabuti, nagbabago ang isip.

napanood ko din kagabi ang isang programa sa tv, pinag-dedebatihan nila kung tama ba na gawan ng jokes ang mga nangyayari dito ngayon. sa akin lang, hindi naman siguro masama na gawan ng jokes yung gloriagate incident. baka naman mabuwang na tayo kapag puro na lang problema ang nasa isip natin. yun ang maganda sa mga pilipino, kahit na kabi-kabila ang mga dinadaanan nating problema, may sense of humor pa rin kaya mas gumagaan ang pakiramdam.

joke time muna!

Rrrrriiinnnggg...
Ate glo: helo garci!
Garci: mam, ikaw pala.
Ate glo: salamat garci sa pagpadala mo ng flowers.
Garci: nagustuhan mo mam? mahal yan.
Ate glo: talaga? ano ba tawag sa flowers na yan?
Garci: yun ang tinatawag na SUSAN ROCES
(ngek!)

DOJ sends baby crib to ERAP's resthouse.
Erap: i did not order any baby crib!
DOJ: this is not for u. this is for gma, she will soon be joining u.
(asa pa! baka galing ke lacson yung crib, di sa DOJ!)

ano ang pagkaka-iba ng malacanang sa chow king?
ang chow king, may rice topping...
ang malacanang, may wire tapping...
(hahahaha! sarap sa chow king!)

p.s.
jokes courtesy of r.o.y., m.d.

ang grand ballroom

2005-07-06T22:56:00.000+08:00

labis akong nagalak nang ika'y makita
na-miss talaga kita
dali-dali kitang pinuntahan
habang pasili-silip ng dahan-dahan
umupo ako sa harapan mo
ngunit ako ngayo'y nagtatampo
ang lamig pala ng aircon mo!

sabi ko na eh, blog addict na talaga ako. i wrote this poem while supposedly listening to a speaker at a post graduate course in pediatrics at the century park hotel the other day. totoo naman kasing ang lamig ng aircon! lahat ng tao madalas lumabas sa ballroom para pumunta ng cr o maglakad-lakad sa labas at mag-hb (hanap buhay - tawag namin sa pagkuha ng mga samples at give aways ng mga drug companies sa ganitong mga scientific conferences).

madami akong natutunan...

1.) baby shampoos are better coz it is less irritating to the eyes
2.) there's no harm in shampooing our baby's hair everyday
3.) baby wipes are not advisable coz it contains chemicals that can harm your baby's skin, it is still better to use water when cleaning your baby
4.) use sun protection (i.e. protective clothings, hats, sun blocks, etc) especially between 10 am & 2 pm
5.) for children with headaches, ibuprofen and your ordinary paracetamol is safe and effective
6.) for constipated children, give apple JUICE but for those with diarrhea, give the FRUIT
7.) vitamin supplements are actually not needed if our children eats a balanced diet BUT those who are given vitamins would still need to eat a balanced diet
8.) several studies have shown that vitamins do not have an effect on appetite and growth

blog addict, bow!

2005-07-02T20:46:00.000+08:00

ikaw ay isang blog addict kung...

... kapag may free time ka, nagbubukas ka agad ng computer at sumisilip sa blog mo

... habang pauwi galing sa office, iniisip mo na kung ano ang isusulat mo sa blog mamaya

... binabalikan mo ang blog mo apat na beses sa dalawang oras

... ang laman ng history ng browser mo ay puro may .blogspot o .blog-city, ___.net, etc

... ang dating dalawang oras mo online ay nagiging anim na oras dahil sa kakalipat-lipat sa mga blogs

... hindi mo napapansin na alas-tres na pala ng madaling araw dahil tawa ka ng tawa sa binabasa mong blog

... napapatingin ka sa malayo kapag nakaharap sa computer (nag-iisip tungkol sa latest post na nabasa mo)

... iniisa-isa mo ang mga post mo kasi baka may nag-iwan ng comment

... naaliw ka sa pagbabasa ng tagboard mo

... alam mo kung ano ang tagboard, sitemeter, trackback, haloscan, photobucket, blogger, wordpress, html

... pamilyar sa'yo ang mga pangalang teachersol, pansitan.net, you blog addict, pinay, pradamama, sassylawyer, batjay at ang iba pang mga sikat na bloggers

... sa pag-uusap ninyo ng mga kaibigan mo eh, madalas nasasabi mong "yung isang blogger, ..."

... madalas mong nakikita ang pangalan mo sa mga tagboard at comment box

... dumadami ang iyong mga kaibigan na di mo pa nami-mit face to face

... may folder ka sa computer mo na ang laman ay dedicated lamang sa mga add-ons, clip-arts, blog skins, buttons, etc

... nagpalit ka ng template ng 4 na beses at nag-iisip pa ding magpalit pa ulit

... nangangarap kang someday ay magkaroon ka ng adobe photoshop

... may kopya ka ng hexadecimal color codes

... may link ka ng pinoy blogger sa blog mo

... hindi lamang isa ang blog mo

... napakadaming open na windows sa computer mo (ikaw ay nagmu-multi tasking - ka chat ang tita mo, check ng email mo, nagsusulat ng post mo, nagbabasa ng paborito mong blog at nag-cocomment naman sa isa pang blog)

wala na akong maisip! kayo may idadagdag ba?

friend (frend), n. one showing esteem and affection

2005-07-01T20:22:00.000+08:00

just like in everything i do, i always try to give it my all even when it comes to friendship. i treat my friends like family, i rejoice with them in every triumph, cry with them in every disappointment and fight with them in every battle (if i know they're right). i especially go out of my way to help a friend in need up to the point of spoiling them already. this is when i usually get in trouble - when i become too nice to my friends. last year, i was "stabbed" in the back by people who i thought were my friends just because they wanted power. a few weeks ago, i felt so bad because i expected too much from a friend, all because i missed being with them. then the other day, i felt so hurt because i learned that a friend was just a friend only when he is in trouble but not during victories. i also have people who are supposedly my close friends who would only remember me when their kids are sick.

i wonder, is this what progress has taught us - to be selfish monsters? are we so obsessed with getting ahead that we have forgotten how to appreciate a friend? have we forgotten how a simple "thank you" means more than a thousand "i'm sorry"?

everyday, when i pray, i always thank the Lord for the wonderful friends that He has been blessing me with (online/blogger friends included). throughout the years, i have collected treasures who have seen me mature and grow to who i am. some i still keep in touch with, some already virtually strangers to me now. i mourn all the friends i have lost along the way because i may have inadvertently thrown away a rare gem.

isang pagbati

2005-06-30T01:39:00.000+08:00

bahala na kung lalabas na ka-plastikan o sabihing "exaggerated" kasi hindi ko naman siya talaga nakikilala pa ng personal pero naisip ko, gusto ko siyang parangalan...

september 2004 nang ako ay natutong mag-blog. noong una, personal webpage ang pinakialaman ko pero ang hirap kasing i-maintain. at sa aking walang sawang pag iikot sa world wide web, nabasa ko ang blogging sa inq7.net at doon ko na din natunton ang blogspot. noong una, nag-aalangan pa akong mag-blog kasi pakiramdam ko, nahuhubaran ako ng unti-unti sa blog ko, madalang lang kasi ang gaya ko na nakakagawa pa ng ganito sa dami ng mga pinagkaka-abalahan namin. yung iba naman, iniisip nila na pag-aaksaya lang ito ng panahon. hindi din ako noon palaging nag-uupdate ng blog at alam kong hindi din ako magaling magsulat pero hindi naman masamang mangarap at sumubok di ba? gaya nga ng dati kong sinasabi, mas gumagaan ang pakiramdam ko kapag naisusulat ko ang mga nasa isip ko. minsan kasi may mga bagay na ang hirap sabihin kahit sa bestfriend mo o sa mga magulang mo. personal na diary ko lang talaga dapat ito pero dahil nga may mga pagkakataon na naisusulat ko ang mga saloobin ko tungkol sa mga bagay-bagay, naisip kong ibahagi na din ito sa aking mga kaibigan. pero nalungkot ako kasi mukhang hindi nila binabasa o kung basahin man nila, dead ma or in our terms, NR (no reaction). naisip ko noong tumigil na sa pagsusulat dito hanggang sa isang araw noong april, napadpad ako sa pinoyblogger.com at doon, tumalon-talon na ako sa iba't-ibang mga blogs. doon ko siya nakilala...

isa siyang pinay na guro sa ibang bansa, sumubok mamuhay dito sa pilipinas (at kahanga-hanga ang mga naging karanasan niya dito) pero piniling umalis para sa pamilya at doon, unti-unting nakikilala dahil sa kanyang kahusayan sa pagtuturo ng mga special children. noong una, sisilip-silip lamang ako sa kanyang blog, nabasa ko na din ang kanyang buong kwento, hanggang sa hindi na nakukumpleto ang araw ko kapag hindi ko siya nadadaanan. sa madaling salita, ako ay isang "lurker" lamang noon. minsan kasi, hindi mo alam kung ano ang reception na makukuha mo kaya nakakatakot sumali sa usapan saka parang isa na silang malaking pamilyang nagpapalitan ng mga kuro-kuro, pakiramdam ko, intruder ako. kaya lang, mukhang mabait siya kaya isang araw nagkalakas loob akong mag-iwan ng comment sa blog niya. hindi ako nabigo kasi mabait pala talaga siya. ipinadama niya sa akin na welcome ako at malayang makakapag-iwan ng mensahe sa blog niya. sa pagbabasa ng mga blogs niya, mas lumawak ang aking isip, nagkakaroon ako ng inspirasyon at nabubuhayan ng loob na sa kabila ng mga kasamaan at hindi magagandang nangyayari sa mundo at sa ating bansa, may mga tao pa palang katulad niya na good-hearted. dahil sa kanya na-engganyo akong muling mag-blog kasi nag-iiwan siya ng mga comments at sa kanyang mga comments katulad ng kanyang blog, napag-iisip niya ako. dahil sa kanya, mas nagising ako sa mga nangyayari sa paligid ko. dahil din sa kanya, may mga nakilala pa akong ibang espesyal na tao na nakakapagpatawa at tumutulong na magpalawak pa ng aking isipan. siya ang aking unang naging kaibigan sa blogsphere...

kaya sa kanyang kaarawan, nais ko siyang batiin...happy birthday, teachersol! God bless u!