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A work in progress

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Sabi ko na nga ba

During my residency, we had Thursday as our Bakuna Day. Depending on the schedule, we had several vaccines available which we administered to our patients at the OPD. Now that I have my own practice (plus the times I cover for my mentors), I also administer these different vaccines to patients. If you would ask me for an estimate, I would say, I have vaccinated hundreds maybe even thousands of children already but it did NOT prepare me for Tricia.

I won't bore you with the details of recommended immunizations for children here in the Philippines but suffice it to say that all in all, a fully immunized child per Philippine Pediatric Society standards would mean approximately 26 shots in 18 years.

For several days now, we have been eagerly awaiting Tricia's 2nd month birthday. It is a very significant milestone for us since it would mean one step towards Project Healthy Tricia. My dad has been psyching baby Tricia about her date with the needle for a week now and everytime she hears the word "bakuna", she would cry. We both tried explaining to her that it is for her own good but she will only be appeased if we take back what we said. Isn't she one smart baby? :-D

Personally, I was dreading this day. I even tried backing out of it but my dad firmly said NO! I kept looking at Tricia's legs and then I would look at her sweet face with pity. To top it all, the combination vaccine which was supposed to decrease the 27 shots into 12 shots suddenly became unavailable. I asked my more senior colleagues about the best alternative - 15 shots but for the 1st three immunizations, I would have to give 1 shot on the thigh and another shot on the arm. Hmm... I think that still beats the 27 shots or so I thought.

Earlier this evening (had to do it late because my brother wanted to be there to witness this milestone), I bravely prepared the necessary equipments while Tricia was playing happily on the bed. And then the moment came... Tricia was already crying her heart out while my dad was holding her arms and legs ready for what was to be done. Still, I put on my doctor "let's get this over with" demeanor and prepared Tricia for the 2 shots. I tried shutting myself out completely from what I was seeing and hearing - Tricia all red and sweaty from crying loudly while I was giving her the first shot but as soon as I was done giving her the second shot, I wasn't able to control myself - I picked Tricia up, hugged her and cried! As if it wasn't already humiliating enough, everything was caught on tape for posterity's sake!

Sabi ko na nga ba, hindi ko kayang tusukan si Tricia! But I still have 2 months to prepare myself for the next dose. Abangan!

Posted by nikki:: 10/25/2005 12:01:00 AM



Saturday, October 22, 2005

My week in a nutshell

Before I tell you how my week went (this is just actually an excuse so that you will know why I haven't been blogging as much as I used to), let me just share with you this letter for a very dear friend who celebrated her birthday last Friday.

Dear Michelle,

Hello friend! How was your birthday? Was it your first birthay in 3 years that you weren't on duty? hehehe! Must have been a big change for you. It was like that for me too so hindi ka nag-iisa.

I know it has been a stressful 2 weeks for you but the worst is over now so you can smile na and EAT! Don't be sad na din kasi everybody goes through what you are going through right now. I am going through the same situation but I do not let it get to me. Ask the big wigs there and they will tell you the same. Ganon lang talaga, lilipas din yan. Be happy! Sayang lang ang cute mong face kapag sad ka. :-D I know you must be thinking, bakit sina ganito at ganon okay na sila pero are they REALLY happy? You don't have to strive as hard as them. You are trying it out on your own, not riding with somebody else so you should be proud of yourself. Enjoy your newfound freedom for now and one of these days, our time will come.

I love you my friend and I miss our residency days. Kahit na hindi ka sumasama sa mga gimik at palaging nagmamadali umalis after endorsement, madami din tayong mga fun times together. If I would do it all over again, I wouldn't want to change anything. I would never trade you guys with the others. Pero mas masaya siguro kung kasama natin si Jex. ;-)

Smile na dyan! Hindi ka ba natutuwa sa clinic natin? Makulay di ba? hehehehe! Pwede ka maglagay doon ng other toys if you want. Belated happy birthday Mi!


Kelan mo ako ililibre? :-D

Now, on to other things....

It has been a physically plus mentally stressful week and also an emotional one for me. But I don't want to dwell on the emotinal part anymore. So let's just focus on the stressful part. I spent 3 of my 6 day clinic week in one of my mentor's clinic. She attended an out of town convention so she asked me to cover for her. I covered for her several times before so it wasn't something new to me pero this time I was in for a shock. Grabe!! My first day there didn't start well because I was so mad at the guard on duty when after explaining that I was there not as a patient but was covering for someone else (who had a reserved parking space), he still asked me to pay him Php60.00 which was later returned to me after some harassment from the secretary. I had lunch at 2:30 pm that day. I was willing to finish all the charts infront of me but the secretary said, enough is enough, you need to eat because you might be swamped with patients again (at the time, there were 3 charts remaining still on the desk). I saw a total of 16 patients and for me, it is a fete because some patients are very particular about seeing their own doctor not some substitute doctor. But I wasn't as tired as I thought because I even had the energy to meet with an old friend from med school. I went home late but relaxed and smiling.

I had a break the next day but I still had to go to my other clinic, a 45 minute drive for me and attended our weekly conference. I am glad I made myself attend that because had I followed my heart, I would've missed one of the most informative conferences we have ever had this year. Little did I know that the updates I learned that day would be a great help for me the next day.

The second day I covered for my mentor, I saw.... drumroll pls! 40 patients. I had my lunch 30 minutes earlier than the first day but by 4 pm, I was so tired, all I wanted to do was drive home and sleep for a whole day. But it was not meant to be because I still had several patients to see so I went home at 5:30 pm.

By the time my last day to cover at the clinic came, I was already dreading every minute of my drive to the place. I saw 18 patients in all. But by the time I was halfway through the charts, I was starting to feel the beginnings of a headache. By 10:30 am, I was already massaging my forehead in between patients and at 12:30 pm, I was finally able to eat lunch and take some paracetamol for my headache. But the day was not yet over for me. I was still supposed to drive from Quezon City to Manila to my mentor's other clinic. There were several rallies scheduled that day in Manila and I was prepared for the worst traffic of my life but lo and behold, it was smooth driving for me. God must have been really looking out for me that day because I didn't even have a hard time looking for a parking space. However, I still had to take another 500 mg tablet of paracetamol before I started seeing patients. I was done by 6 pm and had seen 19 patients in all. My throat was so dry and as much as I wanted to go home already, I had to eat the food the secretary gave me so that I can drink another stronger pain reliever in preparation for my long drive home. I arrived here at 7 pm and sweet talked my dad into massaging my head, so at 10 pm, as soon as my head hit the pillow I was already in dreamland.

There were times when I regreted having said yes to this cover thing but when you look at it in another light, it has been a great learning experience for me. I can now explain the benefits of the flu vaccine even in my sleep (that from giving the explanation over and over again) and I once again passed the test in patience with flying colors. I am also flattered that I was chosen to do this, it could have been someone else from the pool of pediatricians she trained but she chose me. :-)

I believe I deserve a break hence I shouldn't be feeling any guilt when I go home with my parents to the province for All Soul's Day (but I still haven't made up my mind yet on going). I am so looking forward to being with my cousins and other relatives again even for just a day or two. Yipee!!!

I still do not know what to expect this coming week because I was given other responsibilities at the hospital. But I am guessing that it involves a lot of practicing for the coming annual inter-departmental case presentation in our hospital. Haaayyy....

Posted by nikki:: 10/22/2005 11:14:00 PM



Sunday, October 16, 2005

Sa bawat pag-iyak mo,
Nagkakandarapa kami sa pagtakbo.

Sa bawat tunog na madinig mula sa iyo,
Sinasabi namin, ikaw ay isang henyo.

Sa bawat pag-angat ng ulo mo,
Pumapalakpak kami sa lakas mo.

Sa tuwing nakikita ko ang iyong mga mata,
Natutuwa ako sapagkat napaka-inosente ng mga ito.

Sa kabila ng kaguluhan sa paligid mo,
Wala kang malay,
Tuloy pa rin ang pag-ikot ng mundo mo.
Walang dungis... mapayapa... puno ng pagtitiwala...

Inggit ako sa 'yo,
Sana ganyan din dito sa mundo ko!

Posted by nikki:: 10/16/2005 10:44:00 PM



Saturday, October 08, 2005

Belated happy birthday blog!

Nagdiwang ng anniversary ang blog ko noong September 27 pero dahil nga sa ako ay nagkasakit, lumipas lang yaong araw na yon.

Parang kailan lang nang una kong madiskubre ang mundo ng blogging. Nabasa ko lang siya sa website ng isang sikat na dyaryo. Dinalaw ko lang yung mga nakalagay doon na URL, nagbasa at natuwa kaya pagkatapos noon ay na-engganyo na akong subukin din ang blogging. Nakaka-adik pala talaga! Mahilig na talaga ako magsulat mula nang bata pa pero pang-personal lamang na babasahin ang mga iyon, kaya nga takot na takot akong mag-blog dati kasi pakiramdam ko parang isinisiwalat ko na sa buong mundo kung ano ang aking mga nasa isip at mga nararamdaman. Walang nakaka-alam na nagsusulat ako. Madami sa mga kaibigan ko ang nagulat na kaya ko palang magsulat noong mabasa nila itong blog ko. Hanggang ngayon, madalas pa din akong may agam-agam sa aking mga isinusulat, para kasing nahuhubaran ang aking pagkatao sa tuwing nagsusulat ako at inilalathala dito ang mga ito. Isa pa, madalas, ako mismo nasasagwaan sa aking mga akda. Sabi nga sa Ingles "we are one's worst critic" . Kaya nga nakakataba talaga ng puso kapag may mga taong dumadalaw at nagbabasa ng aking mga kwento dito. Lalo na kung nagugustuhan ninyo ang mga ito. Nakakatuwa kapag nakikita kong bumabalik kayo at nag-iiwan ng mga mensahe o di kaya'y mga komentaryo.

Ni hindi ko namalayan na may isang taon na pala akong nagsusulat dito. Ang daming nangyari sa akin dito mula nang una akong mag-blog. Dumami ang aking mga nakilala, ang iba, nagpaalam na dito sa mundo ng blogging. Madami na din akong naging mga kaibigan dito kaya naman parang hindi kumpleto ang araw ko kapag hindi ko sila nadadalaw. Ang dami ko din natutunan dito. Siguro ang ipinag-kaiba lamang ng blogosphere at ng totoong mundong ginagalawan natin ay ang mga taong itinuturing nating mga kaibigan ay nakikilala lamang natin sa kanilang mga obra. Hindi natin sila nakikita, hindi nakakasalamuha ng harapan ngunit kapag may problema, nagdadamayan. Akala ko dati, tahimik itong mundong pinasok ko, hindi pala. Minsan, natatangay ka ng malakas na agos at wala kang ibang maaasahan kundi ang sarili mo lang. At gaya ng buhay sa totoong mundo, ang mundo ng blogging ay punong-puno din ng choices. Kailangang mag-isip at manimbang. Kailangang marunong ka ng diplomasya upang maging matiwasay at tahimik ang iyong buhay. Natutunan ko din na dapat ihanda ang sarili sa mga disappointments kasi madami nun dito sa blogosphere. Adik na nga talaga ako dahil sa dami ng pinagdaanan ko dito, hindi ko pa din makuhang lisanin ang mundong ito.

Sa inyong lahat na dumadalaw at nagbabasa, maraming, maraming salamat! Sa mga tahimik namang sumisilip, maraming salamat din at sana dumating ang araw na iwanan nyo naman ako ng tag o di kaya'y komentaryo na napadaan kayo. Dahil sa inyo, nandito pa din ako. Sana sa susunod na taon nandyan pa din kayo kasama kong nagdidiwang. Pero sana hindi na belated ang selebrasyon.

God bless us all!

Posted by nikki:: 10/08/2005 01:25:00 PM



Saturday, October 01, 2005

I very much wanted to do something special for my 1st birthday in the blogsphere which was last September 27 and I really feel bad that the moment had passed without any celebration all because I was sick. I really hate being sick! I don't like the idea of spending the whole day in my bed because I have a headache and my throat was so dry. Hence, for the first time since I can remember, I was a good patient (not at all times though! hehehe!), dutifully taking my medicines.

Inspite of it all, it was a very busy 2 weeks for me. Even if not feeling well myself, I still had to attend to my patients and my mentor's patients because she too was admitted in the hospital albeit not critical, due to a possible life-threatening illness nonetheless. My former co-residents and I took turns staying with her in her hospital room because she had nobody else there with her except for a special nurse round the clock. Don't ask me why and how that happenned because it does not concern us. However, it is sufficient to say that what happenned to her again reminded me that it pays to be a good friend and a good person. It also made me look closely at some things in my life and it has been a struggle for me but I know that God will not leave me and that He will provide!

Now everything is back to normal (I hope!) and I am so looking forward to taking it easy this coming week and syempre, to blogging and blog hopping once again. Ahh... life is good!

God bless us all!

Posted by nikki:: 10/01/2005 11:50:00 PM