Image hosting by PhotobucketImage hosting by PhotobucketImage hosting by PhotobucketImage hosting by Photobucket





A work in progress

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Being loved and giving back

I am extremely lucky that I have so many nice and thoughtful friends! Sometimes I feel that I don't even deserve some of them. To all my friends who will be reading this, thank you so much. I truly feel loved.

It really is a nice feeling - being loved. Sometimes when we go through tough times, we feel like everyone and everything around us are against us and that nobody loves us but we only have to look around. See the roof over your head? That is because your dad loves you so much, he worked hard and is still working hard for you. The slightly burned tilapia you had for dinner last night? That is because your mom was busy making your favorite buko pandan salad while cooking dinner. The lovely sunset? That is because God loves us so much, He wants the day to give way to night so that we can rest. Now do you see how loved we are? Giving back that love is the hard part. Sometimes we become spoiled by all the love that we're getting that we forget to give that love back. But I learned that a simple "thank you" and those little unnoticed deeds would do...

Growing up, I more or less knew that someday I would become a doctor, a kids' doctor. During my internship days however, I was exposed to the different faces of hospital life and I thought of becoming an OB-Gyne instead but I couldn't resist those little babies. I love playing and talking to them. I hate seeing them lying sick in a hospital bed. Those little kids are meant to play, go to school and grow up to be good doctors or lawyers or whatever they want to be. They do not have any business in the hospital. It breaks my heart to see kids with terminal illnesses that is why when a very good friend from med school texted me yesterday that her 2 year old nephew, Gelo had biliary atresia and would be needing a liver transplant soon, I had no qualms about asking YOU for help. A liver transplant would cost about Php 5-6M and since it is not yet done here in the Philippines, they will have to go abroad (Singapore have the facilities to perform liver transplants). I learned that a Singaporean organization promised them that they will help shoulder the expenses but when they heard that Gelo had 2 relatives who are both resident doctors, they retracted their promise. My friend may be a doctor but she is just a resident and therefore cannot afford the Php 6M. Gelo has been sick since he was 2 1/2 months old and his family can no longer afford his medical expenses and the much needed liver transplant.

If you have a few pesos or dollars to spare, please help Gelo have his liver transplant before time runs out for him. His family will appreciate all the help you can give them. If you want to know more about Gelo, you can visit his website here. If you want a copy of his medical history or if you have any questions, please feel free to email me. Thank you very much and God bless you all!

Posted by nikki:: 3/28/2006 05:27:00 PM



Sunday, March 26, 2006

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable"

I just came home from 2 cousins' graduation blow-out party. They both graduated from the same high school yesterday. I learned today that they will be going to the same school again for college.

J, a typically tall, good-looking teenager wants to be a pilot but his relatives in the States said an emphatic NO to this. He was told to forget about being a pilot and study to become a nurse instead so that he can easily go to the States. My other cousin, T is a very beautiful girl, her mom says she doesn't know what she wants but will be enrolling this June at the same nursing school as J. I couldn't help but compare myself to both of them when I was a fresh high school graduate several years ago. Yes, I was practically groomed to become a doctor by my parents but they still gave me a choice. I chose to take up Medical Technology as my pre-med course so that I can still have a good paying hospital job if I choose not to go into medical school. I believed then and I still believe it now that choosing the course you want to take up in college should depend on where your interests lie except for situations beyond your control (like lack of sufficient funds for your desired course). Why do I say this? Because if your course was really your choice, no hardship can ever stop you from getting that much coveted college diploma. If I really didn't like medical school, would I survive the grueling schedule of a medical student? I don't think so. Maybe this is why there are lots of grouchy people around - because they are not happy and content with what they're doing.

I don't blame my aunts though for wanting their children to become nurses. At present, it is the easiest way to have a better life abroad. But are we perhaps short-changing them by choosing for them what they should become?

Posted by nikki:: 3/26/2006 11:58:00 PM



Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Eleven Minutes

I just finished reading the novel by Paulo Coelho. He has written several books including the bestseller The Alchemist but I still have to read it. You can visit his website here.

The book tells the story of how a young Brazilian girl learned about love and sex. At a very young age, she convinced herself that "love is a terrible thing that will make you suffer". Like all young girls, she also dreams of fame and fortune but as fate had it, she ended up being a prostitute in Geneva. She was very good at her trade never once falling in love with any of her clients until she met a young painter who brought her faith back in love.

I don't know how many times I cried reading the book. I just felt so sad for the girl who got her heart broken at a very young age. Her dreams weren't unreachable, she only wanted to give her family a better life and although she went through the wrong path, it was just a choice she was forced to make. It was also interesting how she tried to help her clients. She said that men who came to her were vulnerable and lonely because they have no one to talk to, not even their wives hence she read books and newspapers so that she can talk to them and give them advise about life and business. The novel is daring since it tackled sexuality freely. There is a part there where Maria (the main character) and a friend talks about pleasure. It also touched masochism briefly. Another interesting point is how the book got its title but I won't be giving it away - read it!

Perhaps it is the romantic in me but what stuck to mind most is that life may give us several painful blows but there will always be a rainbow in the end. Maybe...

On another note:

I hope you guys like the new look of my blog. :-D Yes Ann, this is what kept me busy this past week. I have been working on it for several months now but I inadvertently deleted my previous effort. Galing ko noh? I also wanted to make my blog look cleaner and more personal.

Special thanks to my friend who helped me with the nice pictures above. Love you Mi! :-)

Posted by nikki:: 3/22/2006 01:08:00 AM



Saturday, March 11, 2006

Eyes still open at 2 am

This is one of the times when I question myself whether I made the right choice in becoming a doctor. It is already 2 am and although I am tired and sleepy, I can't bring myself to sleep. I do sleep at 6 am sometimes but only when I am feeding my addiction (read as blogging) not when I am kept awake worrying about a patient.

The bosses attended an out of town conference for 4 days so I was left in charge of one of the clinics. I couldn't wait to go home early this afternoon (ay, yesterday afternoon na pala) because it was supposed to be my last day at the boss' clinic, but I again gave my friend, M a reason to gloat - I admitted 3 patients for my boss! After doing my rounds, I left the hospital contented that those 3 kids are stable, no worries. Just as I was about to sleep, I received a text message, my tonsilitis patient is bleeding from the mouth.

The resident says they do not have any ENT doctor who can come in at this time to look at the patient. I almost panicked! Yes, I know theirs is just a small hospital but who do they call for emergencies? Although I didn't see the patient, my guess is that the bleeding is from her almost kissing tonsils with very prominent blood vessels so it means that we have to stop the bleeding ASAP because any blood or blood clots in that area can interfere with the little girl's breathing. I already asked them to give something to stop the bleeding but I still insisted that they contact an ENT.

So here I am fully awake praying that the medication I gave will stop my little patient's bleeding. I am also waiting for the resident to call back and tell me about the ENT referral. In the meantime, I will blog...

UPDATE: The resident just called, she was able to contact an ENT doctor who already gave her orders and promised to see the patient first thing tomorrow morning IF the bleeding stops. I think this is going to be a veerry early morning for both of us!

Posted by nikki:: 3/11/2006 02:23:00 AM



Monday, March 06, 2006

I must really be getting old

"Always think of the power words have. Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!"

At the school clinic today, I had a 15 year old male patient who came in complaining of colds. He was a well groomed teenager but I got irritated when he told me his complaint. He was very rude and disrespectful. So as I was taking his history, I made it a point to say "po" and be very respectful of him everytime I would say something or ask him a question. He must've noticed it because he started saying "po" afterwards.

I have been going there for 7 months already but this is the first time I had encountered such rudeness. I am not saying that he should always say "po" in every sentence or since I am a doctor, he should worship the grounds I walk on. It shouldn't even matter if the other person is your maid, the school janitor or the doctor. We should all respect the people we come in contact with whether older/younger than us or more/less educated than us. Respect doesn't even mean saying "po" or "opo" (although it is one Filipino trait that I am especially proud of) all the time. Respect could mean using the correct tone of voice when speaking or establishing eye contact when talking to a person.

Am I being old fashioned? I don't think so.

Posted by nikki:: 3/06/2006 03:31:00 PM



Wednesday, March 01, 2006

I am head over heels in love!

Tricia, 6 months, trying out her pool :-D

Need I say more?

Posted by nikki:: 3/01/2006 12:28:00 AM