Tuesday, May 24, 2005

dear lolo,

it seems like it was only yesterday when we finally said goodbye to you. if i can only turn back the time, i would've spent more time with you then. i didn't know that it was the last time i would hold your hand, you were in so much pain, we didn't know why. i remember the last time i talked to you, i was pleading with you to let us insert a tube thru your nose so you can eat, you were so weak then but you still managed to say "no" but i promised you it wouldn't hurt and that i will be the one to do it but i guess it must have been very painful because you didn't cooperate with us. but then you ate a lot after that, we just didn't realize that it will be your last meal ever.

i know i promised you then that we will take care of lola so you don't have to worry about her. along the way towards the road of learning how to get on with our lives without you, we might have failed to carry out that promise. is that why you are visiting her? is this your way of telling us that we should take better care of lola? or is it because you're missing her there in heaven? i wish i can talk to you so that you can tell me what you want. i am not brave but i will try to be just for you.

don't worry, we will try to take better care of lola and we will visit you more often. but please do not take her from us yet. visit us anytime if you want but we want to see you smiling. we love and miss you so much lolo! until we meet again!

Posted by nikki:: 5/24/2005 03:52:00 PM
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