Saturday, June 18, 2005

your heart was breaking as you waved goodbye,
but you didn't even think twice about going.
you didn't want us to suffer that is why.

your hands were so gentle as you touched my hair
and you hugged me tightly as i cried.
you didn't even say "i told you so"
when you had all the right to say it.
all you said was "darling, don't cry there will always
be a next time".

you couldn't afford it then but you still gave me the
gift.
you didn't even think twice,
because all you wanted was to see my eyes dry.

for all your sacrifices, i again thank you.
there will be no other just like you!

i didn't grow up with my papa around because he was working abroad then. we would only see each other once or twice a year but my brother & i never felt alienated from him because he made sure that he was always in sync w/ what's going on in our lives. we wrote each other 2 sometimes even 4 page letters almost every week. he always makes it a point to call us at least once a month which was very hard for us then because we didn't have a telephone (our phone application took more than 10 years!) so we would make "dates" with him and all 3 of us would troop to a neighbor's house and wait for his call. everytime he comes for a vacation, he would always make up for lost time. we would get lots of toys and gifts. he would pick us up from school and stay at the house most of the time.

when he became boss, we would spend our summers with him. i always looked forward to going there. every sunday after hearing mass, we would go to the mall to eat then later to shop. my brother and i never went home empty handed. we only had to point to what we wanted and most of the time, he would buy it for us. after work, he would always hurry home so we could watch tv together. sometimes he would even bring us to his office and would always show us off to his co-workers. i remember the first time we traveled without him, we were so surprised to see him walking thru the waiting lounge towards us. he didn't want us to travel alone so he decided to meet us at our lay over. once he was sent to a meeting to another country, he brought us w/ him & even made it a tour for all of us. it was the most memorable summer i ever had.

as i grew older, i started to miss him more. everytime he leaves, we would always say goodbye to him at home and he would go to the airport by himself. i would always cry after his taxi disappears from view. i never told him that but i knew he was aware of it.

he called me "my mature young lady" in his letters because according to him, even at a very young age, i was a go-getter. he trained us to be independent and encouraged us to do our best. he was never strict w/ us, he just always reminded us to be responsible for all our actions. he is one of our bestfriends, always ready and eager to listen to all our problems and stories. he knew almost all my friends, driving us to night outs and then picking us up later. he was and still is supportive of all that we want to do.

don't get me wrong, my papa is not perfect. he made some not so good decisions in the past and we almost lost everything but he never gave up. when everybody was whispering behind our backs, he closed his ears to them and worked hard to bring us back on our toes again. eventhough it was hard for him to leave us once more, he decided to go because he wants us to have the best. he wrote poems for me to pass the time and i knew he was lonely there. yes, those were very hard times for us even when he eventually came back but we were happy. it made us closer to each other and i would always thank the Lord for that.

having been trained to have a mind of our own and to speak out, when my brother and i became adults, we would sometimes end up arguing. you can never win an argument with papa but that is just how he is. up to now, even after sending us to medical school and law school, he still works hard for us, always thinking of our comfort and the comfort of the people working for him. i cannot imagine what my life will be like without him by my side. he is my strength and the wind beneath my other wing.

so this father's day, i would like to thank him for not giving up. papa, thank you for helping make me become what i am today. i hope you're as proud of me as i am of you. i know i haven't been the perfect daughter and if ever i disappointed you, i'm so sorry. i hope you know that i love you very, very much.

happy father's day!